When you want to control your temper, be like a whistling kettle.... JUST SING when youre BOILING....^_^…… -Ephesians 4:22-27 *****--------***** SHORT STORIES And JOKES [Throwback] …^_^…………^_^… God is great: He blows the naughty wind that blows the girls skirt high..... But, He also send the dust along with the wind to close the boys eyes .....^_^… ------------------------- 1. A sailor was stock in an island where He is the only survivor. He maid a hut for shelter. Day and night he prayed and waited for someone to rescue him but no one came. He stored food in the hut for survival. One day the hut burned to ashes and nothing was left of it. He was so angry,.He said : GOD WHY did YOU DO THIS TO ME !!!!?...The next morning, the rescuers came. He asked: HOW DID YOU KNOW Im HERE ? .....They replied: WE SAW a SMOKE SIGNAL ....^_^……trust Him when misfortune happens. His plans are always greater than OURS... -------------------------- From Sis Jem Alyn 2. An old farmer wrote to his son who is in prison. This year I wont be able to plant potatoes because I cant dig the ground...-_-....I know if you were here you would help me ...-_-... The son wrote back: Dad, dont think of digging the ground because thats where I BURIED THE GUNS ...^_^… POLICE read the Letter. In the very next day, the whole field was dug by police. Looking for guns but nothing was found. The next day, the son wrote again. Now PLANT your potatoes Dad, .. it is the best I could do from here.... ^_^… WISE MAN is better than an INTELLIGENT one... ---------------------- 3. A girl had cancer only had one month to live. She liked a boy working in the CD shop very much, but she didnt tell him about her love. She used to go to the CD shop every day and buy a CD just to talk to him. After a month, She died. The boy went to here house and asked about her. Her mother told him that she died and took him to her room. He saw all CDs unopened. The boy cried......you know Why?......-_-...He had kept his own LOVE LETTERS INSIDE the CD packs .... (because he loves her too -_-) Oww...Naks sayang naman. --------------- 4. A group of friends will have a picnic. Before leaving, one of the moms said: GOD be WITH YOU...but her son jokingly answered : We didnt almost fit in the car. GOD has NO PLACE already yet if He still want to come, He can Stay at the back seat together w/ the trays of EGGS !... and they all laugh..... ^_^… On their way, they meet an accident and all of them died,...what is more surprising is that of all the eggs at the backseat, nothing breaks, even a little cracks.....^_^… ------------------ PROF: Did God create everything ? STUDENT: Yes PROF : If so then God created evil. Therefore God is evil... (A student stood up and ask ) DO DARK EXIST Sir? PROF : Yes it does... STUDENT: Dark doesnt exist . Dark is only the absence of light. Just like EVIL, it is only the ABSENCE of God in a humans heart. PROF: (speechless) ----------------- 5. A guy visit his dying Chinese friend. ..The Chinese said : Hong pi Chik ,-_-...and die. The guy went all the way to China to find the meaning of his friend last words. And he was shock to know the meaning....: WAG MONG TAPAKAN ang OXYGEN ..... Tsk tsk tsk......how sad ..-_-.... ----------------------^_^… 6. While Dad was polishing his new car, his 4 year old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In his anger, Dad took the childs hand and hit it many times, not realizing that he hit the childs hand with a wrench. At the hospital his child said: Dad, when will my fingers grow back ?... -_- Dad was so hurt, he went back to the car and kicked it many times.Sitting back, he saw the scratches his child made. It read ..I LOVE YOU DADDY... ------------------------ 7. A mountain climber tries to climb a mountain at night. His near the summit when rain falls. His feet slipped and he felt but managed to hold on the rope. And he cried..... Lord save me..……then voice came....GIVE UP the ROPE..! but he tried to look down, He cannot see anything because its too dark, so he STILL hold on the ROPE. When morning comes. Rescuer found a frozen body hanging on the rope with its just 2 inches above the ground.... Trust God even in impossible situations.. ------------------------ 8. A depressed swimmer went to practice. The lights were all off, only the moonlight was bright. He climbed to the highest diving board of the pool and extended his arm out. He noticed his shadow formed a cross. Instead of diving, he first knelt and pray to God to come into his life. Suddenly some one walk in and turn the light on. He cried when he saw the pool had been DRAINED for repairs.... God is great all the time ------------------------- If CINDERELLAS glass slippers fit perfectly, why did it fall along the way ? May be it speaks about one important thing : ang landi nya para habulin sya. ……^_^…… Si LITTLE MERMAID gusto magkaroon ng legs para mkabukaka… Si SLEEPING BEAUTY nagtutulog-tulugan para halikan. Si SNOW WHITE nagpatay patayan para gapangin. Pansin ko puro kalandian ang turo ng fairy tales..... Buti p si Dora pasyal pasyal lang.....^_^…… haha joke Peace ? ___________=____________ I choose you as my friend .... Joey Escalera..... because your totful, swit, loving, caring, undrstanding, charming, demanding, daring KAMBING BONJING ULING, SAGING MATSING, DULING, ...may TILILING...... wahaha haha .......^_^……… --------------------- JUAN : pst!!! sagot mo nga s # 20? PEDRO : hah? Wala nga ako nsagutan ehhh? JUAN : Pareho pala tau blanko din test paper q ... Hala baka sbihin nilang nagkopyahan tau????? ........Toinks............. ...hehe --------------------- Dear Professor, Lagi nyo pong tatandaan n d porket pare pareho kmi ng sagot ay nagkopyahan n kmi s exam. Bakit po b? may tamang sagot b n iba-iba? Ano yun originarity??? *?* baka originality ?he he ---------- Being a college student is so easy...... Its just like walking in the park......... In the JURASSIC PARK.…!!!....^_^…… ---------------------- Kindergarten Class: GIRL: Hoy .....Abayo ...bawal mangopya sabi ni teacher BOY : Kim.... eh hnd nman aq nangongopya eh GIRL: Bakit k nkatingin s paper ko? BOY: tinitingnan ko lng yong pangalan mo kung bagay s apelyedo q ??? Kim Abayo? O KIMABAYO ………^_^…… Haha Peace..... ------------- TEACHER : Class Draw a fish ^_^ CLASS: Yes mam ! TEACHER : Juan why is your drawing very dirty and full of erasures? JUAN : Tinuno ngamin dayta nga bangus ket nakset ! gak gak.....kasjay???? ^_^ ......................... MRS : Apay say kanababasa ka san marriage contract ta mu? MR: (gumiginek )tahimik lng MRS: Sinoy an anapem? (hinahanap) MR : Inayan na! IL ILAek nu wada expiration date na! Maga baw ! (Pambihira ..tinitingnan ko expiration date ....EEH wALA !) toinks ^_^ ............ NANAY : Hoy Juan asawaem ni Maria ta nalawa ti kkanyugan da ! JUAN : Ni Nanay mut . .apay ta ipilyan dak . Anya ti pañagkuna yu ditoy pu$ok IGAD ????? tahahaha... Tama nga naman ^_^ ………………… DAGA1: Ako tapang kain àq raçumin DAGA2: Mas tapang aq , kain aq cheese s mouse trap DAGA 3 : Ako tapang s lhat Girlfriend q pusa.....,^_^ Make sense........ Be brave enough to love someone whom you know might hurt you in the end. ................... Smartest thing Mr. Bean ever did : He changed all his password to INCORRECT ...... so if he forgot his password the computer always remind him : Your password is INCORRECT .... … .^_^……… HATING KAPATID MONKEY 1: hahatiin ntñ tong saging s tatlo hah? MONKEY 2: bkt tatlo eh dalawa lng nman tayo? MONKEY 1:Tarantado k tlaga Eh yang ñgbabasa d mo bbgyan....? Unggoy din yan nagkasungay lng...aht ngkacellphone ehahaha peaçe! ********** IQ TEST I was standing at the s3çond l3tter of the alphab3t. Looking for a ring at the middle of the river, and at the end of the lake, and also at the end of the day the ring was found before U..... The secret message is ? .............. ?????? ^_^ Flordeliz Ako ^_^
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 10:07:09 +0000
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