When you were little, I woke you on your birthday with a serenade of the birthday song. Your future was uncertain at birth, so each year was a precious gift. You wanted to be a man from the time you were 2. You lived to be 6 weeks shy of 20. Though youre happier now than any gift on earth could make you, I know that this wouldve been a pretty cool birthday milestone for you. Today, I cry for me as I remember holding that chunky newborn in the NICU at Vanderbilt, that chubby baby with cheeks that I could sink into when I stole a kiss, the little man who liked mishmayows, who liked to stand at the front of the church with his songbook upside down belting out Oh, ticktory in Deduh, my sabor porebber. I remember how you loved wearing a suit and tie when you were just a little guy. I remember the way you would roll your eyes as you sat thinking and wondering what unexpected thing was going to come out of your mouth, and the time that you begged to be shaved bald (which was a terrible looking thing for you) and how you were so mischievous. Good gracious! I remember dropping you off for your first day of preschool and telling the teachers, Ill pray for you. I remember how you loved the scent of babies and would sniff their little heads like you were trying to fill your lungs with their scent. I remember how you enjoyed being with old people, how you wanted to buy a bigger gun because you wanted to hunt ginseng, and though you didnt know what it was, you were certain that your Red Ryder BB gun wasnt powerful enough to take them down. I remember how frustrated youd get when you couldnt do something like write your alphabet, tie your shoes, whistle, and I remember how other things were picked up easily like how beautifully that you could sing, play the guitar, and banjo. I remember how you aggravated your siblings, and made 6 year old Jacob so mad that he climbed you like a tree, wrapped his legs around your head and did his best to try to pull your head off. You were weak from laughing so hard that you couldnt get him off of your shoulders. I remember how you wanted a baby sister and how tender that you were with Keri when you finally had one. Its like you thought that you were their daddy and not their brother. I remember how a dare and $20 got you on stage to sing, and you blew everyone away. I remember how excited that you were to get started in your profession that you chose in part because of the girl that you loved and to have time available when asked to preach. I remember how humble and generous that you were. (I found the receipt amongst your things where you last donated to underprivileged kids, so they could have a fishing rodeo.) Ive seen you give away your last dollar for someone else on many occasions. I remember how you laughed, and how wholly that you loved. You loved your family, your friends, your girl, but mostly I remember how you loved your Savior and Lord. The burden that you carried most heavily these last years was for those who didnt know the peace that could only come from God. Six weeks ago, you lay that burden down and entered into eternity with The Father and Son and all those whom you loved who went on before you. Today, even as I hurt, I count myself as most blessed because Im the only one who had you for 20 years. I knew your kicks, I felt your hiccups, I held you close to my heart. You were our gift on loan from God. Im glad for your peace. Im grateful for your life. Im so so thankful that you were mine if only for a little while.
Posted on: Mon, 26 May 2014 15:01:54 +0000
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