Who remembers the traffic jams on route 17 to come here during - TopicsExpress

Who remembers the traffic jams on route 17 to come here during summers?. Or how about that huge line of cars coming into Monticello from Route 42 by where Burger King now is? Or the line going into South Fallsburg stretching out to where Fallsburg Gas is?.. Classic Catskills: Being stuck in traffic in the summer in Sullivan County Text Size: A | A | A Print this ArticlePrint this Article Email this ArticleEmail this Article ShareThis By Barry Lewis Times Herald-Record Published: 9:55 AM - 08/05/14 Last updated: 9:58 AM - 08/05/14 For more on our Classic Catskills, visit classiccatskills. ***** This column was originally published July 24, 2003. Its summer in Sullivan, and Ive spent the last 20 mid-morning minutes inching my car a quarter-mile up Route 42. Not what Id call a stress reducer. The guy on the radio says the federal government is gonna watch out for me, fill me in on the dangers of fatty foods. If those ding dongs in Washington want to warn me about my health, Id suggest they drop the Ring Ding scare and take a drive up to the Catskills. Its not the food thats eating at us. Its lines. Everywhere. People in the stores. Cars on the roads. Cars on the sidewalks. Our country roads clog up quicker than the anti-pimple aisle at prom time. We have one supermarket here. One department store. A couple of shops, a few fast-food places and a half-dozen gas stations. And Im stuck in traffic with the only explanation that its summer in Sullivan. This is Route 42, a two-lane country road that connects rural hamlets with a rural village, where 10 months of the year youve got a better chance of hitting a deer than you do another bumper. But in the middle of summer in the middle of Route 42, traffic moves at the speed of one of those bullets in a Matrix movie. And when the car in front is finally able to move, theres no telling which way theyll go. White lines, red lights, turning lanes. All window dressing to our summer motorists who seem to take some perverse pleasure in creating new traffic patterns. Maybe somewhere else consumers need a warning label to advise them about the number of carbs they need to consume. But the real health warning is stay off the roads. Stay out of ShopRite. Stay away from Wal-Mart. Dont come near Route 42, or risk living in your car until Labor Day. But alas, I fear these verbal warnings will fall on deaf ears. So Ive come up with my own warning labels that might help us all survive another summer in Sullivan. A label on all shopping carts. - Warning: Did you buy Sanka? Stewed Prunes? Didnt think so. Look down. While you were trying to figure out the fat content of Oreos back on aisle 13, some woman with red hair and gold shoes cart-jacked your groceries, leaving you with powdered milk and dietetic cookies. A label at the supermarket checkout line. - Warning: This line will not move. Forget that its the express line, five items or less. Forget that theres only two others in front of you. Doesnt matter. Theyre calling for a price check on melon. Pull out the Enquirer. Youre not going anywhere. - Warning: This line is worse than the one you left. You saw this line move and you switched. Guess what? Now the other line is moving. That price check was quick. The ATM here is busted. Pull out the Enquirer. Youre not going anywhere. A label on car bumpers. - Warning: Youre not seeing things. There really is a person behind the wheel of this vehicle. Look closer and youll see white knuckles. Should you worry the person in this car cant be seen by other drivers? Wonder if this driver can see anyone coming or going? Have a nice day. - Warning, this driver is not about to make a right turn. Yeah, we know the right blinker has been on for the past four miles. But this car will turn left before ever turning right. - Warning: This driver has forgotten cars now come with directional signals. Itll turn on a dime without any warning. Itll slow down, but not turn. Speed up, and suddenly turn. Youll never know. - Warning, youre not going anywhere. Its summer in Sullivan. Relax. Munch a Ring Ding. Pull out the Enquirer. Labor Day is less than six weeks away.