Why Class Reunions Eventually Bring Out Your Best Side I graduated in 1980. It seems like such a short time ago, but it was before Ronald Reagan was elected President; before Apple really did anything exciting; before Microsoft soared. LONG before search engines or Facebook. Before any of us knew what, may the force be with you, meant. The Ayatollah Khomeini was holding hostages in Iran. If someone would have walked into a classroom with an iPod I think we ALL would have accepted God and miracles since our idea of music was an 8 track, and by the time we were walking into college hallways the Walkman was making us aware of cassette tapes. The closest thing to a computer we had was an IBM Selectric typewriter. I loved the auto-retract of that amazing machine. Loved it. Oh, and we had a shooting range in our high school. Yeah, armed rifles in school. My five year reunion happened during my honeymoon. It was mostly unmemorable except for what Steve Snow said when he called my wife and me up as the newest couple. As he put a lay of flowers around my neck he yelled, I hope you get layed tonight. Cough. Ahem. Okay. Blush. My 10th reunion I was listed as MIA. Missing. In. Action. Frankly, I didnt even think about the reunion. And, when people told me that I was on a missing list I actually felt for a moment what it would be like to actually BE missing in action in some former war zone. In a second Ill share with you what it meant to some people... who realized my assumed early demise was a bit premature. Ironically, in a strange twist of fate (aging, duh) at my 20th reunion I was unrecognizable. Really. So many people didnt recognize me since I had gone from 62 and 157 lbs to 62 and 220 lbs. At the time I wondered what the big deal was that people thought I had returned from the dead--different, too, like that kid in Pet Semetery. Then, all of a sudden, one of my friends, a cheerleader, realized it was me--and that I was STILL alive. She SCREAMED and SCREAMED my name, and hugged me fiercely. My wifes face turned to shock and even a bit of suspicion or jealousy. I looked back at her with the look of pure shock and awe! (My name being shouted, no, screamed, at the top of a womens lungs... no big deal) I was a quick study and I swore to my wife that I had ONLY been friends with this young lady. I was a nice, straight, squeaky clean, Mormon kid who always wanted the best for my peers. Yeah, right. Youd be hard pressed to get some of my high school enemies to say anything like that about me. But, if youve NEVER been lost and then found like an orphaned child... I can tell you its quite unforgettable no matter what nice or bad things might be said of you by others. Everybody should have that kind of moment. At our dinner that night one of my high school peers told me that he thought I was a snob in high school. That hurt since the only reason I was popular was due to reaching out to those who werent (my moms formula). It certainly wasnt because of my good looks, athleticism or gift of coolness. In fact the only reason I was elected Student Body President is because two or three of the most popular guys in high school couldnt run for office. Actually, that isnt true, what happened is because I was such great friends with the upper classman I think their votes are what made the difference. ACTUALLY I think it was fate. Or fateful. My 25th I missed. By the way its usually around the 25th or 30th reunion that our mellowing allows our inner beauty to shine. Its when all the ego and driving hormones wane just enough that the real you and me starts hanging out 24/7 with each of us all day instead of the rare moments when we shove our better self back into a closet. These later reunions are when you WANT to go to a reunion to see if what George Orwell said has come true: At 50, everyone has the face he deserves. Frankly, that is WAY too fatalist AND PLAIN mean. You know what I hope? I hope that all of us wear really big name tags because I am afraid that I wont be recognized again. And, because my eyesight is bad even with glasses. (BTW, Ive been informed that there was NOT a 25th reunion... Seriously? Yeah, it was a voice in my head that told ME, so I guess it is true that eventually you not only TALK to yourself, but you also ANSWER!) When you finally age into that 50ish face and body, the new 40, denial actually becomes the best friend to every busy plastic or bariatric surgeon. For my 30th...ah, yes, this is the one I missed and nobody could see the face I got and nobody could see that I was now 240 lbs. Its 4 years later, #34, and I was/am totally unprepared for it. Actually, I think its the kind of reunion when you realize its time to just beeeee yourself (stated in Robin Williams Genie voice from Aladin). Yeah, were meeting again under very cool circumstances. Its a special reunion because most of my friends in elementary, junior high and early high school were older than me and my class is joining 78, 79 classes for a super reunion. Does this mean therell be three times as many people? Three times as many mean girls or bullies? Three times as many snobs (yikes, thats a bit too close for comfort)? Three times as many grey hairs or three times fewer hairs? Three times as many inches around the waist or three inches of turkey gobbler under peoples chins? Might there be some whove married and divorced three times or been in and out of jail three times? Frankly, at this point, I think none of us cares about any of this. I think were going to be three times as forgetful of what DIDNT work in high school. Three times as forgiving for what went wrong. Three times as loving, listening, sharing and serving. Weve mellowed. Weve gone from the mean girls to the Golden Girls, from high school jocks to genuine men and women, from cliques to collective friends. The reason that high school reunions eventually bring out our best sides is because eventually its where we show up as we really are. There really is nothing to hide--because we are just too dang tired to try to lie about who we really are with another facade. All thats left is to remember the best, share the best, talk about the best and to brag about the best--in each other. Peer pressure Saturday night, September 6, will be saying: You are are what you are and thats good enough for all of us! Oh, one important lesson not to miss about aging is that if youre still living in the past nursing old wounds, old flames or old fears... youre aging, but not willingly and not truthfully. At some point youve got to forgive and forget before your mind and body does it for you.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 05:12:22 +0000
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