Why Does a Narcissist Do What They Do? It is important to understand why narcissists behave in such cruel, calculating and malicious ways. Narcissists are severely emotionally damaged people, who decided at a young age that the internal pain of ‘You are worthless, no good, defective and unlovable’ meant that the narcissist had to ‘kill off’ his or her true self, and create a False Self as a buffer in its place. The False Self is a pathological façade constructed to gain praise, admiration, attention and be seen as omnipotent or special compared to others. This pathological self has no resources to feel whole or at peace, and the narcissist needs ‘energy’ from the outside world constantly reflected back to him or her to know he or she exists. The narcissist needs attention and significance (known as Narcissistic Supply) to avoid the pain, and to gain some relief, just like a heroin addict does. A narcissist will do whatever it takes without conscience or remorse to keep feeding the False Self. People and things are reduced to mere objects in order to provide narcissistic supply, and are punished severely and cruelly when they don’t supply it adequately. The tragic thing is that narcissists have also been victims of victims. It is only scared and hurt people who hurt others. We can have compassion for this fact, but must firmly realise narcissists do not heal, resolve and evolve past their atrocious behaviour. They refuse to admit defects, be vulnerable or apply self-humility, which are the essential ingredients for personal growth. If you have never experienced a narcissist, you may shake your head in disbelief that there are people who behave like these lists above – let alone be able to believe there is a huge cluster of people on this planet who live their life exclusively like this and cannot operate with integrity. Any ‘integrity’ is only feigned by a narcissist. If you have been abused by a narcissist you certainly know what it is like to be engulfed in such a twisted disturbing world. I really hope this has cleared up your confusion, and not only helped you identify whether or not you are with a narcissist, but also how damaging, dangerous and soul-destroying it is to be with one – if you are. All of what I written above is not just the story of what I have experienced at the hands of narcissists, these are the identical stories (often word for word) which have happened in more people’s lives than you could even begin to imagine. - See more at: blog.melanietoniaevans/are-you-with-a-narcissist/#sthash.IOMRA39U.dpuf
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 09:05:07 +0000
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