Why do I continuously put myself through this shit? Ive got to - TopicsExpress

Why do I continuously put myself through this shit? Ive got to start making better decisions for myself. This emotional roller coaster is bullshit. Its hard to move on when you love someone with all your heart, and love makes you do retarded shit. Like ignoring your instincts and being naive. Whatever though. I know its not what Im supposed to do, but tonight Im turning up that bottle and trying to numb it all. Maybe get the house in order. Well see who wins, whiskey or energy drinks lol. Countdown to Josh 2.0 begins now...

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I sometimes meditate for 2 hours twice a day. One Thursday