Why is the idea of Princess Peach and the King of the Koopas being secret lovers so alluring? Peach is supposed to be Mario’s girl. So as they pose, so as they are. The Princess and the Plumber have been a high-profile item for over 25 years now. While Mario has spent the majority of that time rescuing Peach from Bowser, they seem to be a loving and devoted couple that are the embodiment of the classic video game romance. But for real; isn’t it a little odd that Peach is so easily and frequently taken by Bowser? I mean, she IS royalty. After the first few kidnappings, wouldn’t it make sense to step up security a little? It’s not like she can’t afford it. Besides, don’t princesses typically have a lot of body guards anyways? It just doesn’t make sense! For Bowser to keep getting access to Peach, the only logical answer (barring complete and utter incompetence on behalf of her staff) is that her security team has been INSTRUCTED to hang back when he comes for her. Sure, everyone has to make it look good and appear to be a kidnapping for the sake of public image, but c’mon! They don’t even bother organizing a rescue team when she gets kidnapped. It’s all up to Mario and his brother Luigi to reclaim the RULER OF THE KINGDOM! (image original source boredom.net) This behavior could be indicative of a few things. It is undeniable that there is something going on between the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and the King of the Koopas. However, after all Peach and Mario have been through it’s impossible to fathom Peach not having at least some degree of feelings towards Mario AKA her perpetual ‘knight in shining armor’. Perhaps these staged kidnappings are a way for her to spare his feelings and let him think he is still her ‘big strong man’ for rescuing her. She knows how good of a guy Mario is, and after all he has done for her she doesn’t want to break his heart. On the other hand, Mario is a REALLY good guy. As in he is likely innocent, sweet and pure. After all, he is a video game protagonist and hero. He HAS to be all goodness and light. What if hidden behind those blonde curls, elbow length white gloves and pink ball gown resides someone a little more ‘dark’? The details of Peach’s personal life have always been a little hazy. While on the outside she appears to be prim and proper, underneath it all there could be a more provocative and freaky kind of lady just begging to get out. Bowser is more of a bad boy and a rebel. He could be what scratches this ‘itch’ Peach secretly has. A kidnapping fetish is not only a symptom of repressed deviant tendencies, for someone with this type of personality it could also be a form of foreplay. Assumptions aside, let’s look at the more obvious facts. Princess Peach is the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser is the King of the Koopas; an anthropomorphic turtle race that inhabits the same land. It is his and his people’s goal to conquer the kingdom and overtake the governing body already in place. Essentially, this pits the two of them against each other in an ongoing civil war. It would not look good for the leaders of the opposing sides to become a couple. That is, if we are going on the assumption this is a ‘Hatfield and Mccoy‘ level of contempt between parties. If this is the case, a union between Peach and Bowser wouldn’t pave the way for peace. Instead, it would cause confusion and evoke feelings of distrust amongst their respective peoples. These sort of rumbling could put stress on, or even dissolve one or both parties royal standings and leadership positions. A loss of leader would not only be devastating, but cause everyone to fall into a state of chaos. For the good of both their kingdoms, they must at least appear to be at war with one another. Finally, the franchise canon has even given us a little more fuel for the forbidden love fire. The essential hint for Peach’s infidelity (image original source mario.wikia) comes in the form of Bowser Jr. First introduced in Super Mario Sunshine, this little guy is hell-bent on kidnapping Peach and framing Mario for some serious, serious graffiti. He’ll stop at nothing to keep Peach away from Mario and get the poor plumber in a whole lot of trouble! All is revealed when Bowser Jr. calls the Princess “Mama Peach”, and goes on to explain that Bowser told him all about how she was his Mother and that Mario was coming between his parents. Instead of being extremely confused and explaining to the poor kid that he has it all wrong, Peach just replies in a mystified voice “So YOU’RE Bowser’s son?”. She didn’t even TRY to set the record straight with him. She may as well have just opened her arms and cried “I’m sorry for being a dead-beat Mommy! Come here sonny-boy!” If a living, breathing illegitimate son isn’t enough to prove that some sort of love affair is going on between Peach and Bowser, then there is some SERIOUS denial going on in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Jun 2013 03:24:48 +0000
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