Why you should never compromise when it comes to goals By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc. Why so many people are unhappy The one conclusion you can make from the number of unhappy people in the world is that so many people dont know how to be happy. The improper education about happiness people get, the false beliefs people pass to each other and the commercial ideas some people try to force on others have resulted in making the path to happines seem so vague. happiness is found when you stop comparing is one of the very famous beliefs people are repeating over and over but the question is: is that belief actually true? And if it isnt then why its popular? We humans are lazy by nature. We prefer the easy path over the difficult one. We always want to get what we want by doing the least possible effort. This is why any school that adopts the get what you want without doing effort becomes very popular even if it doesnt work. Want some real life examples? 1) The law of attraction: Dont study, dont work, dont do any effort but just relax and let the universe do its job. Its not that the law of attract doesnt work but its the way that so many people try to make the law of attraction seem like that prevents it from working (See also The secret to getting what you want in life) 2) Stop comparing yourself to others: You want a Ferrari? Forget about it, dont work hard and just compare yourself to a person who doesnt have a car 3)Happiness is in the little things: Dont have big goals, Dont try really hard and dont dream big. After all you can get happiness through a cup of coffee or a morning walk. So what is real happiness? Throughout your life you develop certain unmet needs. The most important of those unmet needs are the ones that can make you truly happy. Everybody wants to drive a Ferrari but if you havent been sleeping for 2 month because you want one then you can rest assured that driving an extravagant car is one of your core needs. Once you get all of your core needs met you will experience a level of happiness that you wont have imagined it actually existed (I have been there so i am not trying to sell you a theory). But what about people that say that happiness fades away after you get used to what you have? The people who made those studies never actually tried meeting all of their important needs at once! Lets suppose that you needed a Ferrari badly and in addition you wanted to marry a certain person. Now if you got the Ferrari you will certainly be extremely happy but after sometime you might find that you are still not as happy as you imagined simply because there is another extremely important need that wasnt met. Now marry that person and you will become the happiest person on earth until your needs change again (maybe in years). Why you should never compromise when it comes to goals Have you ever felt that you really wanted to eat an apple then ate meat instead? How did it feel like? It felt really bad simply because at that point of time your body needed an apple. When you find that you have a certain dream you should understand that this dream is exactly what your subconscious mind needs in order to make you happy. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that one of the main reason people get depressed is that they compromise after believing that they cant get what they were always after. In fact living without getting anything can make you more happier than living with what you didnt really want for one reason; when you dont get anything you will still have hope that you can get what you want but when you finally get what you didnt want hope will be lost and depression will arrive. Do you know why so many people are unhappy? Because they dont know what you just knew. What if i cant get what i want? This is a very popular question that people ask when they get introduced to these concepts. The good news i have for you is that you can still be happy if you got something similar to what you wanted or even better. Do you wanted that job badly? Then getting another similar job or even finding a better one will certainly make you happy. Is happiness that materialistic? You are talking about cars, money and career. Is happiness that materialistic? The quick answer is ,no. Every person has his own different needs. Some peoples needs are materialistic and thus they wont be happy before they meet those needs. (see also Can money buy happiness) Some other people have spiritual needs while a third group might have different needs. I dont care what your needs are but i only care about letting you know that the ultimate road to happiness is getting those needs met.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 05:59:18 +0000
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