#WhyAfricaNeedsWomenInLeadership-Tuesday# *Allow me to self indulge a little this morning, though you will see that my self indulgence is sort of in line with the usual Tuesday Theme* A friend of mine fellow entrepreneur and founder and editor of I DO magazine, Felicia Buthelezi asked me to write an article about Why I dont want to get married. I cant share the actual article until the Magazine comes out end of April. So you will have to buy the Magazine. The constant questions I get from a number of people (mainly women) about my apparent fear of marriage would be fascinating if it was not so disturbing. Its disturbing in so many levels. Let me count the levels of disturbance these questions pose. Level 1. It seems like its sin for me to opt not to marry, why? Because I am a woman I ought to want to marry, I ought to crave being lobolad and put in a white dress and a ring. Level 2. A man who opt not to marry and rather live with a woman or date several women - a life time bachelor is not seen in he same light as a woman. Though he will get pressure, its not the same pressure a woman gets. The pressure that the man gets is not laiden with shame and he is not looked down upon the way a woman does. Level 3. It seems society does not know what to do with women like me who simply just want to pass this holy matrimony saga. I dont conform therefore I must be a problem, I must be dealt with. I must be psychonalysed. There must be something wrong with her. Level 4. It is assumed that I am not in a relationship, I am bitter, angry, lonely and most probably horny. This assumsion often does not apply to men who opt not to marry. (I know the people who really know me, people whove met me are laughing at this level :-)) If women were is leadership in all spheres (I dont mean positions). If women were in leadership, where they actively, directly and indirectly deal with patriarchy in all its forms. The issue of a woman who does not want to get married would be a non issue, it would not be a big story at all. Africa needs women in leadership to tackle all these patriarchal nonsensical norms.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 05:23:56 +0000
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