With all the conflict in the state-afflicted world, one would hope - TopicsExpress

With all the conflict in the state-afflicted world, one would hope the home would be a refuge from such conflict. Yet the average American home is rife with perhaps more conflict than most other aspects of society. This, as in so many other cases of conflict, is a problem of poorly-defined property rights, where more than one party lays claim to the same thing; in this case it is the childs body. The child has a natural inclination to assert her independence, to view her body as her own, unless this inclination is broken with corporal punishment. Yet the parents too claim authority over what is done with the childs legs, hands, and vocal chords. For families free of corporal punishment, this leads to a tug-of-war over these legs, hands, and vocal chords that never ends until the child achieves financial independence. The child is constantly pushing the envelope; testing the limits, in her never-ending pursuit of emancipation. The parent will sometimes relent, after stressful negotiations. But often they instead enforce and restore limits, and frequently impose new ad hoc ones. Dont do that right now. Go do this now, please. Why are you doing it that way? No, bring this instead. Turn that off. You know that is very aggravating. Theres no need for that right now. Whenever the parent is paying attention to the child, every move the child makes is subject to veto, second-guessing, and disapproval. There is no need for all this stress and conflict! Especially over such minutiae; so much sweating the small stuff. Let your child go her own way; let her make innumerable mistakes and thereby learn innumerable lessons. Her legs, hands, and vocal chords are her own. Give her the liberty of moving about, choosing activities, and speaking as she pleases, and the responsibility of bearing costs (losing foregone alternative possibilities) due to her choices. The more you do that, the faster she will mature, and the happier and more harmonious will be the home. Heavy indeed is the head that wears the crown. The thing to do then is to abdicate, to let go, and save yourself and your family a great many needless and counterproductive headaches.

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