Within the last few months I have been in a whirlwind of emotions.. Everything seems to aggravate me and my patients wear really thin.. Its been really hard to turn to God to pray and even get up to go to church.. I feel God tugging and I know what I have to do.. Loosing my paran has put such a strain on me.. I know he is in heaven and I know he is at peace.. Where that should give me peace it doesnt.. No I did not see my paran on a regular basis but when I did it was always special.. I grew up with him more as a brother than a godfather.. I guess with it being so sudden so unexpected and such a traumatic experience and knowing the person he was.. Always putting others in front of himself.. Being such a stand up husband, father and friend to everyone he came in contact with.. I cant help but question everything!! Why him? Why now? Why so young??? Why why why?? I will never know those answers.. As I struggle with trying to smile and pretend everything is great and go on with my day to day.. I cant help but to think how different life is and will be especially when holidays roll around.. God I NEED You now more than ever.. Take away the questions cover me with peace.. Peace that surpasses any other.. Amen! As I sat in church this morning I could hear God speak to me and I am ready to listen.. I have taken the first step to try.. I know this new path You have laid out is NOT going to be comfortable and I know I will stumble and I know its going to be a long road.. I also know You will be with me to catch me!! I am ready Lord! Teach me!!
Posted on: Sun, 23 Mar 2014 23:24:39 +0000
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