Wow. So, tonight when I got home from work I found these old pictures on the counter. They must have been found by someone under my refrigerator because I used to have them pinned to my refrigerator board over 3 years ago as I was on a doctor supervised calorie strict (900 a day) diet. They were my goal pictures and in them I was 4 months pregnant with my first baby. I loved how I glowed and thought I looked so healthy and at a good weight. During that MD supervised plan, I was encouraged to take phenagren shots, had b12 shots, bi weekly weigh ins, shakes, soups, bars, 1hr a day on the treadmill and when I quickly plateaud, I was put on Ativan, because stress keeps the weight on. After I was dismissed from the program, because my time was up and I wasnt losing any more weight, I fell apart, mentally and physically and it was an almost year long spiral into a place I wasnt sure I would make it out of alive. Very scary. I deeply understand an anxious, under nourished system, lethargy, crazy hormones and food addiction. Through the grace of God, lots of people who love me, and sheer determination to LIVE and not just torturously exist, I scraped my way to health. Sometime I dont even recognize myself. Im still getting used to this new me. A healthy me, inside and out. I still have work to do. I will everyday and always, but it is worth every bit of my newness. Im thankful for every breathe, every compliment by those who are where I was, they have no idea how much I truly understand. I have deep empathy and I have deep passion that every one can have health. Thanks for indulging me....and I have to say, I feel like I give those goal pictures a pretty good run for their money, even if I am 13 years older than that chic ;) AND thank YOU for being here at Foodology...without you, my passion is pointless!!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 16:16:54 +0000
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