YOUR LIFE CONDITION By Muyiwa Afolabi A couple of days ago, I was driving somewhere on the island in Lagos and was suddenly stuck in traffic. The vehicles moved very slowly along the road and in my exasperation I began to distract myself by taking note and paying attention to different things and people around me. Suddenly two young ladies caught my attention. They were both cladded in their NYSC outfits. They were apparently excited about something, they were laughing, nudging and shoving each other and mischievously trying to wave down any good looking car probably for a lift or something, but clearly, it was out of mischief considering the way they were going about it. They were perceptibly friends, close and excited about each other. They were about the same height, both corps members, but I noticed a major difference between both ladies. They were both like 21; at most 23 in age judging by the way they looked. One of the ladies was dark in complexion; well, say caramel in skin colour. Her skin was very, very beautiful. Fresh, smooth, and clean. She was glowing, even toned and plush. She had lovely bright and white eyes, very white and her pupils were equally dark creating a beautiful contrast. Her hair was full and healthy, curly and extending to the lower edges of her forehead; long hair made evident by its length as she held it up together in a ponytail by a ruffle, it wasnt hair extension, I know the difference. She had full pink lips and a beautiful pointed nose. Even with her high cheek bones; her cheeks were still full and her chin had a cleft that fitted her perfectly she wouldnt look as beautiful without it. I noticed her arms, her hands and her nails too. Smooth, even toned, silky, glowing skin, though her nails were not painted, they were healthy and beautiful. She was about 5.8’ in height, lovely figure, everything in place and moderate proportion, she was good looking. I then looked at her friend. She was just a bit shorter in height but they were of similar shape. She was fairer in complexion than the first girl. But didnt look as good. Her skin looked really bad. Scally, dry and had multiple shades. No glow, no gloss, her skin looked dry and unattractive. It was obvious shes probably been working on making it better; the skin appeared stubborn and obstinate to all the treatments. Though pretty, there was something about her face that wasnt positive. Her eyes were dull, moist and brownish, she had faint patches here and there on her face and neck, she didnt look particularly relaxed; her face appeared stretched and tensed and generally she wasnt as calm, cool and collected as the first girl. As they laughed together, her laughter was off and crass. But the first lady I described laughed in such an infectious and heartfelt way, youd want to laugh along even if you dont know why she was laughing. I kept looking at these ladies and when they noticed I was staring at them, the dark polished one looked away and smiled to herself while the fair crass one looked directly at me, rolled her eyes, threw up her chin with attitude and suddenly nudged her friend in the arm and began to laugh. Her friend ignored her and wouldnt look up at me. She just kept smiling at herself, she ignored her friend. Hmmm. I began to think, I began to wonder, two ladies, almost the same age, wearing exactly the same outfit, in design and quality and instantly one could tell which one was crème and polished and which was crass and local. Hmmm, Dear friend, its not in the dressing, its not in what you wear. Its beyond the packaging. Isnt it amazing how we come across people every day and before uttering a word you can easily place them by social status? You can easily tell the enlightened and exposed from the crude, unpolished ‘wannabes’. This really has nothing to do with the clothing, in fact the not-so-polished could be more expensively dressed, yet youll know the difference. Youll know its not for real and shes struggling to represent well; youll know its only skin deep, shallow, surface, superficial; youll know shes not original. You see, this isnt even about money or riches. Ive met a lot of very rich crass, tactless and obtuse people and Ive met also several middle class and not-so-rich polished people. Not only do they look polished, they act so polished, sophisticated, refined, cultured and chic. Its beyond money. I do not know if youre flowing with me on this, this morning. Tell me, why would two people, of about the same age, wearing the same outfit, their wealth notwithstanding be perceived as different; one polished, the other crass even before uttering a single sentence? Why would a man probably in his forties or fifties be wearing a shirt and driving a rather expensive car and everyone can tell hes not the owner, that hes just probably a driver and another man, probably younger in just a plain T shirt be driving the same car and no one would doubt the fact hes the owner of the car? Hmmm. Dear friend, its called the reality and power of perception. All men are designed to perceive the soul of one another beyond the flesh and looks. People see the way you look but actually perceive who you are. In life, the state of your soul is more powerful than the appearance of your body. No matter what you wear and how you look, people are more sensitive and they react more to your soul state than your physical appearance. Mankind in reality deal on a soul to soul basis. The packaging, is purely for decorum and at times entertainment. Real relationships and interaction is at the level of the soul. Your mind, your will and your emotions. Dear friend, take the time one day to look in the mirror. Dont just stare at yourself or your image, look deep and intently into your eyes in that mirror, you will feel something. Your emotional condition will suddenly surge to the fore. Your predominant emotion, be it happiness, anger, regret, frustration, bitterness, strife, low self-esteem, insecurity will come to the surface. If its peace, joy, gladness, contentment, fulfilment, love, warmth or compassion it will surge to the fore as well. I tell you, you will see it in those eyes; just take the time to stare intently into your own eyes in the mirror, you will feel your soul. Dear friend, that predominant emotion is what you carry everywhere you go and thats what the people around you perceive when you interact with them. This predominant emotion is like the perfume of your soul, as you go about, people perceive it. Pride, anger, bitterness, insolence; people can perceive even before you show or demonstrate it. Truth be told, the quality of your soul and your predominant emotion today is perhaps actually the consequence of your choices and decisions in actions and reactions to people and issues. You see, our lives are designed to be conditioned by choices. Many people often misunderstand the concept of predestination. A school of thought would say the almighty has already predestined everything and every mans journey and experience. If this were to be so, then it would appear unfair for any man to be held responsible for his actions if hes been predestined to act that way and he cant choose otherwise. I believe, the almighty does not predestine actions but the consequence of our actions. Thats why we are accountable and responsible for anything we choose to do as human beings and should be punished or otherwise for anything we choose to do. If we lack the power as mankind to choose what we do and what we dont do then we cease to be in charge of ourselves, hence we are not responsible or accountable for our actions. But for every action, choice or decision there is a predestined consequence and repercussion, so when you do good, you feel good and peaceful, when you do bad, no matter how you pretend, you feel bad and guilty and restless. Our conscience is preconditioned and predestined by the creator to guide our actions. My dear friends, whats more is the reality that the state of your mind gradually and eventually finds expression on your body. With time you begin to look very much like the state of your mind. People look at you and can immediately tell what the state of your mind is like. When youre peaceful, your eyes, skin and face lights up and radiates. In fact you may begin to gain weight, not because youre eating so much, but because your mind is at rest. And youll be surprised the number of people that eat so much as an escape from their depression and displeasure, yet theyre skinny and look worn out and people keep asking what the matter is. When youre sad, depressed, guilty, tensed up, unforgiving, insecure, dishonest, wicked and jealous your furrows, your laugh lines, your skin texture will eventually tell. Patches would show up on your skin, wrinkles, creases, and folds will begin to show up. However, if youre happy, innocent, satisfied, honest, peaceful, sincere, grateful and loving you will radiate, youll look very healthy and bright, relaxed and happy. Your appearance always have a way of saying things youd never voice. Dear friends, frankly speaking, the repercussions of some of our choices and situations we invited into our lives bringing temporary comfort at best but also dangerously, the absence of truth. When truth is absent the heart suffers, bondage sets in. When you keep lying and sacrificing the truth because of pride or fear – living in denial, you hurt yourself. Dear friend, please come to the end of yourself now and choose today to embrace the truth about yourself and your life. Listen, what you do not have you do not have, what youre not youre not. What you cant afford yet, you cant afford yet, please note that yet is not permanent. Stop living a lie, no matter how deep you burry the truth, it will come to the fore and find you out. Stop borrowing, stop pretending you can afford what you cant; stop envying and, buying things you cant afford on credit – destroying relationships and trust, stop being a cheat, stop taking what is not yours and giving yourself a bad name and reputation. Allow peace and liberation, open up and let go all the negativities you harbour, forgive people; release your offenders; let them go. Truth hurts yes, but it brings clarity to your reality. It really sets you free. There are some positions you cant handle yet, jobs you cant do yet, money you cant manage yet; gifts, talents and abilities not well developed yet, relationships you cant handle as well, Stop boasting and trying to convince people you have what you do not really have. Listen friends, youre loved, appreciated and accepted just as you are by those who love you and no matter what you do, those who dont love you would never love you. Get smart.Dear friend, choose today to recondition your life for peace, love, joy and true freedom. You deserve it. Please enjoy your day.
Posted on: Mon, 19 Jan 2015 09:03:51 +0000
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