Yay. Nabbed meself an easy job. No, not as my previous selfs career as a COPYWRITER with responsibilities that read like this: Specialised in property development and branding. Creative and great in conceptualisation. Translate ideas into persuasive copywriting. Ability to write in English, Bahasa Malaysia & Chinese will be added advantages. Ability to work under minimum supervision. Work under pressure to meet project deadline. Ability to write creative rationale and presentation script. Presentation skill is essential. And I need not be required to: Possess at least a Professional Certificate, Diploma, Advanced/Higher/Graduate Diploma, Business Studies/Administration/Management, Marketing, Journalism, Advertising/Media, Mass Communications or equivalent. Write in 3 language(s): Bahasa Malaysia, Chinese, English Possess at least 4 years of working experience in the related field is required for this position. Be willing to work in PUCHONG JAYA. Be preferably a Senior Executive specializing in Advertising/Media Planning or equivalent (WTF??? A COPYWRITER NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO PLAN MEDIA NOWADAYS???????). Work full-time (ideally 24 hours a day and 7 days a week minimum. Ability to work 25/8 will be highly advantageous). Ahhh...every one should get on this gig. Its a walk in the park. All I have to do is: Show up for work. Work typically starts at 5pm. I finish at 1am. I work on Sundays. Off on Frydays and Sat the days. Enough clues to tell you what the gig is so far? (No, not as a gigolo.) This is what I do at work: Check grand ma. Create impactfool, provoking headlines. And subheads that explain the foolish headlines. Check for double spacing. Fit the stories. Edit. Edit some more. Check the facts. Add facts when required. For instance, do you know where Brno is? Do you even know its a place? Let me help you out, its in the Czeh Republic. If you dont know where Czeh-so-so-klo-via-via is...may Google help you. Some other work: Grab the stock exchange crap. One of the poops may look like this: ^KLSE Oct 14 1,784.76 -0.99 ^KLSE 0 - - ^KLSE ^KLSE ^STI Oct 14 3,165.25 -14.46 ^STI 0 - - ^STI ^STI ^HSI 04:01am EDT 23,336.52 +118.20 ^HSI 0 - - ^HSI ^HSI 000001.SS 03:01am EDT 2,233.41 -4.36 000001.SS 153,722,825 - - 000001.SS 000001.SS ^N225 02:28am EDT 14,441.54 +36.80 ^N225 0 - - ^N225 ^N225 ^TWII 01:33am EDT 8,367.88 +93.92 ^TWII 0 - - ^TWII ^TWII ^KS11 05:03am EDT 2,040.96 +20.69 ^KS11 233,624 - - ^KS11 ^KS11 ^AXJO 01:47am EDT 5,259.10 +51.20 ^AXJO 0 - - ^AXJO ^AXJO Easy work right? Only one tiny itty bitty polka dotted must-have pre-requisite tho. Your england must be impeccable. Or excellent. Or world class. Oh. Oh, one other requirement: You should know shit. Or shite. And lots of it. The more crap about any thing and every thing you store in your memory chip the better. Every little byte helps. See? So little is needed from you right? I almost forgot. Youll need to possess the eyes of an eagle too. To spot them pesky double spacing. Or spelling. I confess we did miss one. We printed Pubic Works instead of Public Works once. And thou shall not know which day that tid-bit got published. What else. Oh a nose for news should be advantageous I reckon. What will attract the uninterested. Or the busy bodies. Without ruffling their feathers. Or just enough to make them squirm. And a third eye for layout as well. And a fast hand. And lots of creativity please. So easy. Like a walk in the park right? The gig? Executive Sub Editor at a 5-day newspaper known as theMataHari. You can read it online here... thesundaily.my Or pick one up at your nearest 7-11. Its free.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:46:04 +0000
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