Yes Its a long ass story, but Im telling it damnit!!! So, should not have left the house today, but I did!! I agreed at the beginning of the day to drop some items at a nursing home for someones father. I could not find one of the items, so I dropped the first one at the nurses station and went about my business, easy as pie. Now the entertainment begins. I go about my day, I start home when a call comes from friend about her dad needing the other item before dinner, at 4:30, its 3:45. Oh no....Im at least 30 min away, I still have time, all good. Seven damn stores later and no item. I send Jay out(when ur no longer husband and wife, they are not as cooperative) he of course finds it at the first place, literally, walking distance from home. I rush to the nursing home. I run in, and as Im turning the corner at high speed(dont run in a nursing home) I almost topple a heavy woman out of her wheel chair, and I managed to send the small dog(they can have dogs...kewl) shooting off down the hall(not kewl)! Apologies, dog and woman ok (dont run in a nursing home) Im omw!! Elevators, where the crap are the elevators?? Ok, this is the wrong building, no elevators in a one story building!!! High speed out the door....ahhh...that was therapy, this is nursing home. I go to correct building and I run in and still no damned elevators, wth, if its this confusing for me then how do the old folks manage? Nm all that, a few turns and backtrack to door, I see a nurse, me:where are the elevators?, Nurse:how did you get in here? 10 min later and an explanation that doors have an alarm and buzzer...Im getting sketchy looks from the nurse, but I dont have time for this, i have to beat the dinner crew!!! I dart off before the nurse can cause anymore delay, I make it upstairs, I walk down Hallway(massive line of old people in their chairs) of course, I cant find the damn room! I begin asking all the gentlemen Mr. Cooper, nope Mr. Cooper, nope! I did manage to get a date, I almost get some teeth(I pulled back in the nick of time and of course they hit the floor ) so teeth are off floor and yuck....seriously, yuck!!! Still no Mr. Copper (where the hell is the staff in this place anyways) I turn around and there is the door to Mr. Coopers room, I go in and i deliver it and apologize and admit it is all my fault, but I got there before the dinner crew, so its all good, right? I expect a thank you and to be off, and of course that is not how it works! Instead I get into a fight about the change I owe him!! I paid for it!! I dont have any change because I have never met you and I paid for it, your daughter is going to pay me back!!! Im told in a very obnoxious tone to get out!Im leaving, I absolutely dont want to cause a heart attack or stroke or worse!!! As Im opening the door, i hear a shriek from Mr. obnoxious or his roommate, damnit, I just need to keep going, they must have video to show I didnt touch anyone!!! Oh no...no...I just had to turn around! There is Mr. Cooper with the delivered box of Fixodent in his hand and he is shaking it at me, he wants the other items and his change!!! Ummm...a shriek was unnecessary, but for sure that damn shriek will bring staff and I can escape. Nope, no staff, and I try to explain to him, again, I paid for it and the other stuff is with the nurse!! Now you would think someone who is half deaf would realize they are speaking to someone completely deaf....not me. The roommate chimes in about 30 min too late and a personal nervous breakdown, Mr. Cooper is deaf, just go on honey, he will be fine Seriously, you are just now saying this, really you couldnt have said something before all this!! I leave and as Im heading out the room, the old man with the teeth is waiting in the hallway with his teeth!!! I dont know what to do, wth do I do!?!? I tell him to hang and Ill get help. I quickly attempt the maze, of now a dozen more elderly and chairs (do they feed them in the hall)?!? I get to the elevators, and I shit you not, the dinner crew is coming out, so I have to squeeze into the other elevator doors and let them pass, the doors open and my ass ends up in the lady with the dogs lap. The dog yelps, I scream, the lady In the chair sounds like she has expired. Great I managed to kill someone after all, why is this woman here, she was in the other building!!!! Ok, dog and lady are alive...thank you God! I move on and manage to get off on the wrong floor, I go into the kitchen and beg help to get out! I am given directions, I know this is all unbelievable but I swear folks, this is a true story to the end. I make it to the doors I came in, I try to open them, they are not opening and the alarm has gone off...a really loud alarm, it is obvious who set it off(although Im trying to look like I had nothing to do with the it)but Im the only one there. I figure the nurse with a million questions, who evidently fixed the alarm and doors once I came In, she will be here any min!! Its getting awkward. Damnit, I dont wanna go back in the elevators!!! I head back to the damn elevators, I turn the corner and their is the woman and the dog, (is this woman stalking me)?!?She tells me the alarm code, I go back, I put it in and thankfully the alarm stops, but the doors dont open,? I assume I can leave since I put the code in!! I try to open the doors, right?I set the damned alarm off, AGAIN!!! Not standing around this time, I go back the corner and head for the dreaded elevators, there in the elevator doors is the dog and woman, she tells me the code and I tell her it turns off the alarms but the doors dont open. Her words are, you have to push them open.....well shit!!! I then proceed to make it out all in one piece, I get into my car and Im an absolute wreck....wait, no pun intended!! I see as i sideswipe the car next to me, Jay in our other car!!!!! I freaking swiped my other car with my car!!! Suffice it to say, I will NEVER deliver anything to a nursing home again!!!!
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 00:08:36 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015