Yesterday morning someone I held very close to my heart passed. And when I first found out of her passing, I tried writing her sister a message, but my fingers couldnt think of the words to type. I got a card to send to her parents, but my pen couldnt come up with words to fill it with. I even went through old photos of us until I found my favorite one to post but when I couldnt think of the words to go with them, I replaced that post with a joke about coping with emotions. I couldnt figure out why I, out of all people, was struggling to find words. Then 3 hours ago I found this old song I sent to her after a breakup as a proposition for us and for the last 3 hours Ive had it on repeat. I finally realized the emotion that has been causing the loss of words is guilt. See, our friendship was interrupted a few times over the course of 10 years with bad timing and distance but we were always able to pick it up where we had last left it. And for the last year, and specifically the last few months while she was suffering with her symptoms, I still let those interruptions come between us once again. But fortunately she had a loving family for support, girlfriends that were more like sisters, and a man that was head over heels in love with her. And as I listen to this song once again for the umpteenth time, all I can think of is that the one thing I took for granted between us was this illusion of time and although this is not how I wish to have learned this lesson, it is not one that Ill be able to forget. So Lindsey, you were a beautiful girl with an even more beautiful soul that will be missed by everyone that knew you. Sorry I didnt keep my promise to hold your hand as you go.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:15:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015