You can kill the weeds, or strengthen the grass! Many people who are trying to grow a good lawn try and focus on killing the weeds. However, killing the weeds alone does not develop strong grass! By fertilizing the grass and helping it to grow stronger, the lawn overcomes the weeds, giving them little chance to grow. This also applies to our children! At first we tend to want to “change” our children, and focus on habilitating their vulnerabilities and weaknesses; to make them less “autistic.” We focus on the negative aspects of “autism”, and want to “change” them. However, by focusing so much on their deficits we often invalidate the children; unintentionally communicating that they are broken and need to be fixed. By focusing on “changing” their weaknesses, we often do not foster a stronger person. Instead, it often weakens their identities and self esteem. Just like killing the weeds will not necessarily create stronger grass. We need to “fertilize” the children’s strengths to make them stronger. We need to foster their strengths and preferences, that which truly defines them, to develop their “true selves.” By using their preferences to foster their strengths, the children will grow and develop to the point where they can use their strengths to compensate for their weaknesses. Of course, we want to devise strategies for compensating for sensory issues, help alleviate immune system vulnerabilities, and provide for a healthier child. We want to teach them communication skills, life skills and social skills, but do it in the framework of fostering their strengths and preferences. Help the children grow into their true potential. Support the child to blossom and let the flower unfold; not trying to pattern a daisy into a rose! All children, regardless of impairments, have strengths and preferences that define who they are. We must observe closely and listen to the children, and support them to blossom into what their potential will define. This is true with all children, not just those on the spectrum. Support who they are and help them become who they are meant to be. Help them develop their strengths, and validate their interests to foster those strengths. You will find not only greater acceptance, but also faster development and a more emotionally stronger person. Focus on the potential, not the deficit, and you will see more potential! This series on “Strengths and interests” can be found in the green book. “Autism Discussion Page on Anxiety, Behavior, School and Parenting Strategies.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 23:36:33 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015