You know.... I make the best of things I can. 4 years of bad luck... it really stresses people. Im >500k in debt due to medical bills. I hardly ride due to my knee. My head is still messed up from the car accident. Yeah. A 2012 accident. I still have nightmares. Im up right now because everytime I close my eyes I just relive it. I lost a very special horse I only had a week. Only a week. Two years in the making. All my hopes... went into the ground. He was more than a horse... he was the light at the end of the tunnel. A week the nightmares didnt plague me. All of you, my friends... how many have I really talked too? I can count 7 close friends I kept up with.... 3 people Ive talked to daily.... one is my mom... the other is the only person in the world who understood what that horse meant to me.... the third? John. Being upset... messed up... it doesnt have a time frame. Having something take your heart... can happen in an hour... and scar your heart for life. The Mini... was My first MY car. First car I picked out. First car I owned in my name... first car I modded... first car I ever went really fast in. My first drive to FL happened in that car. My first 6-speed. I loved that car more than a girl should. Anyone who knew me and the mini knows... it was pretty legendary. And that little horse... to know him... was to love him. And then we moved. Away from everything. Stress. Nothing about this is selective. People deal differently. I cut everyone out and shut myself down. Thats how I do it. I snuggle my horses and leave myself to my own devices. Ah snap... Who cares bout my shit... Who cares about my head. There is a set grievance period, cars and accidents cause selective depression... And Im uneducated. But I got NOTHING going on in my life that trumps anyone elses. Im fine. Yup. Just fricken dandy. Atleast John gets me...
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 04:58:32 +0000
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