Zahra Jalill says : Salaam. I read this story and wanted to share it with you. I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to convert. I just did it. Most of my family knew I hung out with Muslim people, but I don’t think they expected me to convert. None the less, they were all a little shocked an confused. They didn’t know I had been researching Islam for years. They didn’t know my interests really. My family is so distant from each other, how could they know? I guess I will start with my dad. He’s a drunk who I haven’t seen in almost 13 years. I’ve only been on talking terms with him 3 times in that decade. When I converted, I was actually talking to him. It’s always the same old thing with him… He calls, says he’s changed, says he stopped drinking but after a few weeks, he’s back to calling me drunk and threatening me again. My parents are divorced. He lives in the South with strict beliefs on race and religion. When he found out I converted, he told me “I wasn’t his daughter anymore, I was dead to him.” I can’t say it really hurt my feelings though. I was so used to living without him, and I knew his beliefs so well, I didn’t expect anything more or less from him. What I didn’t expect was the rest of my family to be so closed-minded about it. The only people who really accepted me from the beginning were my best friend, my sister-in- law, one of my cousins and my great grandma. Alhumdulillah for them. The first thing my mother asked me was “Who is he?”, assuming that I converted for a man. When I told her I did it for myself, I don’t think she believed me. Though I think she does now. Shortly after I converted, we had a family get together because my mom was coming home. I took a friend with me who is Muslim and international. When I got there, they all stared at us, and ignored us. My grandma came out of the house greeted me with a hug and said “All I want to know is why?” and I said we could talk about that later, then she said “No, we won’t”. I was very embarrassed of my family, especially because my friend was with me. They were very rude to us. I was ashamed… but one person’s opinion meant the most to me. My mother’s. In Islam, you are supposed to treasure your mother. Jannah (Heaven) lies at her feet. Thinking she was upset with me converting caused a problem for me. I wondered how I could fix this: I couldn’t stop being a Muslim if it dissatisfied my mom, but I can’t let her be upset with me either. I cried for 3 days, barely moving from my bed. I love my mother and I would never want her to not be proud of me. After all the trouble I had caused her as a child, the last thing I wanted to do was make her upset. Finally, I got my chance to talk to her about it, and to my surprise she didn’t have negative feelings towards it. Alhumdulillah! All she wanted for me was to be happy. Mashallah for my mother, she is the strongest, smartest and selfless individual I know. Almost 3 years have passed by, and I just thank Allah for leading me to this path, and making it easy for me. Through all of this, I have found out who my true friends are, who my family is, and who really knows the meaning of accepting, understanding and tolerating differences. These people have learned a lot. I have had the chance to clear misconceptions with them, and that’s just a few less people walking around with the wrong idea about Islam. Alhumdulillah.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Apr 2014 14:50:33 +0000
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