ah yes cleaning out one of my notebooks, and what you are about to read I wrote many years ago, but this story has so much potential... Its called Murgatroid There are moments in ones life when you are able to put two and two together, sometimes its contrived, other times it just happens. For me it came one Sunday afternoon while visiting the zoo with my family. It had been two days after another disappointing defeat in a football game. Im a Defensive Coordinator for a High School team. My team gave up 7 touchdowns, the game wasnt even competitive. Often times as a coach your success is dependent upon your players abilities, but thats an excuse. There isnt any commander who doesnt believe with hard work and determination and perhaps a some good luck that his side wont be victorious. Coaches are fickle, or at least most of them are. I know my Head Coach is stubborn the polite term for hard-headed; he believes its possible to win every game and without apology the expectation, for a Coach to measure his success it comes against whether or not he wins them all or not. At the Zoo I was following my daughter to the monkey exhibit. Passing a grassy field I spotted a large black coarse-haired guerilla. The creature was lying on its back with his legs sprawled out before him, his rotund abdomen was ostentations displayed as a shine of sunlight bathed him in enraptured repose. Seeing him in that position reminded me of my players after practice, when theyd be exhausted and lying supine from fatigue. I stopped to look at a sign fastened to the fence, it listed the guerillas name as Murgatroid, he was six feet tall and four-hundred and fifty pounds. Once my mind captured the height and weight, two and two came together. The rest of the zoo was absent from me after that. My mind was on Murgatroid. I was thinking one thing while trying not to allow myself to think anymore on it. How? - and was it even possible. I recalled learning something a long time ago in biology class, that man evolved from ape. It was that logic that quieted my conscience. The is it even possible? question was irrelevant, Im a coach, where there is a will there is a way, a coaches creed woven into the fabric of every coaches spirit. A week went by. The entire time my mind was upon Murgatroid. The game that Friday night, despite a well conceived game plan, my defense cost us the game. We improved slightly and only lost by three touchdowns. Pride sometimes outweighs reputation, respect comes with the reputation, but self-worth and character are born from pride. That Monday over my lunch hour I went back to the zoo. I ventured hastily to the monkey exhibit. There was Murgatroid, the enormous black beast strutted from one side of the enclosure to the other. He didnt appear to be very quick footed, his 40 yard dash would probably be in the teens. But in space he had potential to be a wrecking ball. A zoo employee happened by, I inquired more about Murgatroid. The employee, a young twenty year old man, his appearance gave him the perception of being derelict, but he was very forthright with sharing information. He told me Murgatroid was four years old, a male, and evidently he often took prodigious craps and liked to throw the piles of excrement at spectators. I gazed upon Murgatroid and began to think of ways to solve the how. How can I get Murgatroid out of the zoo on gamedays? How to disguise him? How to get him eligible? and probably the biggest obstacle was how to teach Murgatroid to play organized football? Not to mention how to keep him from killing and injuring opposing players and then in the back of my mind the fear of how to keep him from crapping on the field and tossing feces in to the crowd. As I stared at him I figured I could shave his face perhaps to make him look more human like. Maybe glasses could give the appearance of being a person. I could style his hair, get him a wardrobe. Occasionally hed have to attend class, what was I getting into?
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 02:04:55 +0000
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