bay vision quest, the battle of the concrete jungle. how to not freak out when you gotta carry your own weight. hiked the pavement for too many miles into the hills and slept in the woods, together. woke up beautifully, underneath oak trees, next to a trickling stream, sunlight filtering through ferns, looked down at angel next to me and remembered what its like to feel full. as the dream state faded. the present, disappeared and i reverted to the day before that felt like an endurance challenge. i had been carrying a candle of hope, of home, that home was carrying a candle of hope, for me. maybe those words couldnt be expressed in the earthly form or maybe my ears dont know how to listen, but i saw my dad last night and we talked for about half an hour. it was not a planned event, just a perfect intersection in a familiar place. okay. i can let this go and evolve the dynamic, carrying the weight of expectation is crushing, debilitating. carrying the weight and setting it on the shoulders of the now dynamic is like balancing a fish bowl on a bowling ball. no stability. all my shit is based on other shit, the digested product of meals of the past recirculating through a system. shit-based reality. formula for shitcess. i know what i want and its what i have, but without the shit. so im sitting here, thinking i need whats in my bag, and finding out, that on this journey, i havent touched the lot of it.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 21:04:17 +0000
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