everyone in my life has always told me to be happy and grow up and be successful in life but to be honest I dont know the real meaning of happy is it to put on a fake smile everyday and say I can do this or is it to truly find that one person or thing that makes you happy? I thought I had that once I thought I had that one person whom brought this big nice wonderful fun Cody that everyone wanted to be around at one point in life but I was wrong I let things get between us I let my walls down and showed you the real meaning in witch I thought was the good Cody but in reality I could never be without you I have always went threw life not knowing what to do with my long life I was always the let down kid I was a mistake when I was born i thought i had real friends but in realty they just liked me because so they could tell there friends hey i have a gay friend now! i cant even tell my own parents that i like men! and women how do you think that makes me feel to know if i ever did tell them to see the look in there eyes knowing its not right to know my son is really a let down i know its wrong but i cant help knowing i am attractive to guys its really a bad trait to have i hate it! because i know in the eyes of god its not right but to get back on track. i knew i wasnt really good at anything like my brothers i am not skinny i am not athletic i dont act like a guy! but when i found you it was like i really can do something with my life i can really show everyone i can change and i can be a happy person but after things got bad between me and you like the physical and mental abuse it was like without you i dont really know who i am anymore i feel like a dog that doesnt know how to get back home i dont know witch way to go in life to be good in life but i know what most people are thinking about me oh hes 15! he doesnt really know what love is he has his whole life ahead of him but the way i see it is no one in my whole life is like you i really do love you i just hate that i changed and i let things get between us like getting use to you and i taken you for granted and the bad thing is i never wanted that to happen. i know the only way i will ever leave your side is if someone kills me and i know when it happens i will still be on your side in heaven but as right now i dont what to do i dont know where to take it i know i have my friends and family to talk to but no one knows me like the way you do no one understand like the way you do no one knows the real cody that can be brought out the real nice funny cody that everyone wants to be around but as right now i feel lost... i dont know what to do and the only reason i am posting this on facebook is to let other people know never let your guard down with the one you love never stop trying with your soul mate because you will lose them and if you really are in love like the way i am in love with you you never give up you stay together threw thick and thin no buts about it! thank you!
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 05:59:30 +0000
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