extract of Amandas letter to Minister Varadkar, we hope he will meet with us in the New Year and that Government will make a commitment to change. Dear Minister Varadkar I am writing to you both as a member of the group TFMR Ireland and as an individual. Having lived through the experience of losing our baby girl in 2011. At 22 weeks into my pregnancy, our much wanted baby was diagnosed with Edwards’s syndrome. The severity of her condition meant that the consultants advised us she would most likely die in my womb prior to birth, or immediately upon birth, due to organ failure. Our baby’s heart would not sustain her outside my womb. We made the decision not to continue with pregnancy, the only protective measure left to me as a mother was to ensure my baby girl would not suffer, nor know distress. With virtually no support from the hospital, we found our way through another country’s medical system and made the journey to Liverpool Women’s Hospital. There we were treated with that compassion and understanding that I could not have received in an Irish hospital. December 2nd 2014 marked the three year anniversary of my baby Aoife’s stillbirth, at 8:30 PM on a Friday evening, after 2 days of labour. I was exhausted and beyond heartbroken as was my husband. But the absolute worst moment of all was that the next morning we had to get up and get on a flight back to Ireland, leaving our baby’s body to be cremated and sent back to us three weeks later by post. In the months following our loss, I was lucky enough to find some other women through internet who had gone through similar experiences. We started a campaign group, TFMR Ireland, and spoke to politicians and media and hospitals about our experiences. We also formed a charity support which runs support groups and offers a phone service, called Leanbh Mo Chroi. Our charity provides emotional support and guidance for couples going through this experience of ending a pregnancy early following a Fatal diagnosis. We have no formal funding and rely entirely on donations. I have taken phone calls from distraught couples, in the midst of trying to make arrangements to access a service in the UK. They are without the support of the hospital, faced with chancing traveling back with their baby’s remains in their luggage and getting stopped at customs, as there are no clear legal pathways for them to return to Ireland with their baby’s remains. There is no reason why couples should still be finding themselves in these horrific and demeaning situations, when they already facing such loss and hardship. It breaks my heart all over again to have to try and support couples as they try to navigate indignity and insult after insult when they are going through their darkest hour. It angers me that the political will is apparently still non-existent to make changes, and that the political parties in power seem content to brush this issue under the carpet, suggesting that they may deal with it if re-elected. Every week the Government fails to legislate, more couples suffer this unnecessary injustice, which only compounds the trauma of losing a much wanted baby. I am writing to request that you meet with us to discuss what the Minister intends to do right now to support women and couples going through this horrific experience of being exported out of the country at the very time they would most need medical and family support. I want to know what you are going to do for us now and in the future. We have already met with the previous minister almost two and half years ago. Promises were made by him to, at a minimum, provide bereavement counselling and improve and standardize hospital practices, and in the longer term to determine how the law could be changed. None of even the supportive measures were brought in. In fact the situation has gotten worse. National guidelines are urgently needed at a minimum. Couples also face long delays in being able to access services in other countries. Hospitals in other jurisdictions are unable to take as many Irish couples as they had been, and many couples are being told they must wait over a month for an appointment. TFMR Ireland want and need commitments from each party that there will be a legal change, and there is no reason for this one to take twenty years. It has been too long with no action being taken on this issue since it was brought back to the public and political arena. This is an issue which the current government have been made acutely aware of, at the expense of many women’s privacy and healing. I anticipate your response and look forward to meeting with you. Yours faithfully, ______________ Amanda Mellet Founding member TFMR Ireland tfmrireland@gmail
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 09:55:53 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015