from a blog I read....love it!! not sorry anymore It used to be that if you wrecked me I apologized. not anymore. I said Im sorry as buffer and protection and avoidance and to ask permission. not anymore. I would offer an apology (Im sorry. Im so sorry. Im really sorry. Sorry!) as a kind of currency to buy my right to speak or take up space or even breathe. To be with you or even to just be. So many sorrys! offered like those old fashioned tickets they used to use at amusement parks to let you ride the ride. I said Im sorry because I was afraid youd hurt me before I could hurt myself so that you wouldnt hurt me. I would hurt myself for you to show you we were on the same side. I dont like me that much either! See? We have so much in common! Its like were allies! not anymore. It took a while, and some work, (and a little Divine Intervention on occasion) but I stopped hurting me. And then I stopped aligning myself with people who hurt me. And sometimes that hurt their feelings, so they said. But Im not sorry about that. That ride is closed now. Hang a sign on it: Closed till further notice! Not sorry! Ive healed a lot. Come a long way. Not all the way, but a long way. Now I may make restitution, but I dont need to buy my space on the earth by asking permission or forgiveness. I own when I screw up (and boy, can I ever screw stuff up sometimes). I take responsibility for my side of the street before cleaning it up and making it right. But sorry? For being here? For being imperfect? For falling short or failing big? For being smart? For being sensitive? For being (usually) too much or (occasionally) too little? Too big or too small? For being not you? For being me? For not even always knowing who me is but fumbling and bumbling along, trying to figure it out? Nope. Im not sorry for any of that. not anymore. Thank God.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Jul 2014 20:04:30 +0000
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