good evening all my friends, clients, and family. Gosh I should just call you all family because that is how it feels. I want to apologize to you first and formost for my absense on social media. I did not go visit family, I stayed in my room for a week. I remember the parable about build your foundation and unfortunatley that is what I had done. I was blindsided by some of the most horrible words, gossip, and actions. My mother had told me that if i were going to put my face and voice out there, there would not aways be positive feedback, but I had no idea the lenghts of cruelty some will go especially those that are in your circle. I will always remember one of my role models always told me to thank those who show you that they are an ass up front, instead of wasting your time. I am only writing this because the anger has subsided, the forgiveness is in my heart, forgetting is where I find the problem to be. I am by no means perfect and for that matter anyone want to shovel gossip or throw stones, I am sure there is actually something that I did do or was part of that I am completely guillty of:) Bottom line while these individuals probably slept peacefully, perhaps even proud that they finally got me down. Just one word if any from anything I am writing is remember we are all human. None of us better than another. I did not cry when I was diagnozed with HIV, but last Friday and Saturday I could not the tears from flowing. Maybe I needed it. I know I laugh and I joke and most think I just scoot through life without a care in the world. If you think any of that you know nothing about me. Gossip and viscious talk that effects me, my family, and my friends is a knife through my heart. I was so angered and hurt but I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you to my wonderful frieds who listened, trusted, and carried the weight when it got to much for one person. I am will and open to any and all critiques when it comes to my part in any discontentment, but I will never allow some people to hurt me ever again like that. The way I look at it is this time it took me 7 days to resurface, next time 4 or 5, the next time 1 or 2, I am actually thankful for the time I had alone, I got to rest to think.I can honestly say that I have never in my life set out to purposely hurt and cause pain to another. I may have been selfish or all over the place and hurt some feelings and for that I am very sorry.I will be much more aware now. I grew ten years in about 15 minutes last week and I regained my focus. Kabbalah teaches that whenever something great is to happen we have distractions to stop us from full recieving all the good we have coming our way. Well that is it, referance to Emily Hearn, I have put all that negativity in a red baloon and it has floated away no longer tied to me. As for thoseI wish no ill will, not even karma. Take care of your families and your responibilitie and just let me do what I love to do in peace and that is work with my clients and nurture wonderful relationships. You cannot chase me from my home because i dont run, i use that energy to do better and turn tragedy into triumph if I can. I need to be here in SC to help educate and save lives by sharing experiences and knowledge. I can promise you that this inspired me an impotus to survive. Thank you:)
Posted on: Wed, 27 Aug 2014 03:16:34 +0000
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