#inbox Dear Admin I am 18 years old fem and graduating high school. Im going to college. I am currently in a relationship with my best friend butch,24 years We have been seriously together for about 10 months. It has been hard for us. She does not want anyone to know. And neither do I. We are both not fully lesbians, But we not ashamed of how we feel for each other. We just want to avoid torment at school and from our families. I have never told anyone about it. I feel that I cannot trust anyone I know to hold such a secret. Basically, things were rocky at first. I wanted to be with her, but then I was afraid and dated a boy for a little while. When I felt she was really the one for me, I left him for her. I did that twice. We have finally overcome my twisted emotions and everything has been steady for a few months now. Can It Last Forever? We have told each other we wanted this forever. It was so naive of us. I know thats exactly what she wants, but for me, I dont think I want that anymore. I have been getting more feelings for a boy lately, and doubting our relationship for many reasons- 1. Ive doubted myself, because I know that this could never last, and I keep having feelings for someone else. I feel I am betraying her and I cry because I cant think of how much I am hurting her. I havent been telling her how I feel. 2. Over the months, she has become insanely clingy. I cant hang out with my old friends without her feeling jealous or giving me a problem about it. We have had way too many arguments over it. Its wasted anger and dont want to deal with it anymore. 3. She keeps making me promise things that I dont want to promise. Like Promise me we will be together for as long as we can. Promises you wont leave me Of course I promise. Sometimes I mean it, but sometimes I dont. I have been feeling trapped. And I feel so terrible to keep hurting her. We have been involved intimately, and I dont want it to progress anymore than it has. I miss having her as a best friend. We used to do so much together- go places, watch movies, and just hang out as good friends. Now all the time she just wants to kiss and stay inside alone. I just want to enjoy my final year of high school without having an anchor. And I still want to be friends with her. Ive tried to break it off to be friends again. But she cries so much and threatens to cut herself, that I cant take it and give in and say we can work it out. I feel now, it is inevitable. Weve had so much trouble trying to work this out, and it has worked, but I feel our time is over. Im so confused and feeling so terrible. She is a great person in every way, and she does not deserve this heartache. I dont know what to do. Im afraid if I break it off, she will really hurt herself this time. And I cant afford to have that. I still need her and still love her deeply. I always will. But I just feel that I need her more as a best friend rather than a girlfriend. This is just so hard when you have no one to lean on for support. Stuck in love
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 08:44:12 +0000
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