\it is 4:30 am..and now I think I am able to sleep. No matter how much you prepare for what you know is no longer in your control it still hurts and it is such a shock when you loose someone you love . I sat with my brother for hours on end because I didnt want him to die alone..I thought he would be okay if I went home for a couple of hours to sleep so I could be with him for the night..but by the time I got back to the hospital he was gone. I do believe he waited until I was gone..I promised him I would be back shortly. I was too late.One thing I did for him today was to give him a shave..he had asked me several days ago if I would do that for him so I am happy I did that..My dear brother has suffered for so long and always believed he would get the liver transplant he needed to survive but it was not to be..All the doctors and nurses did everything they could to keep him alive but it was not to be. Thankfully they kept him comfortable and out of pain and I am so grateful for all they did..He has gone home now and I am okay because I know he is with mom and dad and my brothers..he is healed now and happy. One day I will join them, and we will be a family again..for now I am an orphan..but I will be okay even with my broken heart because they are all gone now.but I know I did everything possible to be there for them all as they passed from this life . It didnt take a lot of courage..it took all the love I have in my heart to be there for them. I just feel very sad and alone tonight..
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:52:37 +0000
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