just went to pick up Noah from his after school Spanish class like always, and when I walked in the door (bedraggled, pouring rain, dragging crying toddler) I was immediately accosted by a teacher barking at me, Are you the mother of Noah?? Hes been taken to the office and we are calling his emergency contacts because you FAILED to pick him up. I said, um, I AM picking him up?? I looked at my phone, I was FOUR MINUTES late, due to the fact that my baby had a poopy diaper I had to change and then I waited patiently as she put on her own shoes because she is important too and then I had to navigate the rain, etc…….FOUR MINUTES late. And they had my son in the office terrified that his parents had forgotten him or that something terrible had happened to us. Four minutes. They berated the crap out of me and treated me like some crazy delinquent awful neglectful parent and frightened my son, over four minutes. By the time I got to the office, it was a whopping six minutes. They lectured me about how valuable their time was (as opposed to mine….?) and scolded and scoffed at me as if I had done something heinous. They literally shamed me in a hallway full of people. I left feeling like total sh*t, made to feel like some crappy incompetent mother, over four minutes. My day had been hard already, filled with exhausting toddler drama, but that never matters, there is never compassion or grace, just the impossible standards mothers are held to. I cried quietly in my car, and tried to reach deep into the feelings of why it bothered me so much, and my heart hurt as I came to it. I feel like modern day motherhood is SO hard, SO lonely, and nobody outside of your immediate family unit----nobody----is on your side. We modern mothers run our selves ragged in every sense of the word, without the tribal support of our ancestors, we are just lost in this hectic world of minivans are carpools and rules and playmates and chores and errands and diapers and tantrums and appointments and homework, its a fight just to keep up with the basics, not to mention I have an actual job, too. We modern mothers are missing the tribe, the community, the simplicity, the support. Our children are forced to be regulated to the max, institutionalized into schools that crucify you for being 240 seconds late, holding us to these ridiculous schedules and exact times……I am sorry, but I am a human being, and I cannot be programmed to do everything absolutely perfect all the time, and neither can my children. I might be four f%^king minutes late. Because I am a human being, in a world full of variables. The standards that we are held to are impossible, and perpetuate feelings of failure, inferiority, and loneliness.
Posted on: Thu, 15 May 2014 21:07:55 +0000
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