my story... it was really hard to move on from a relationship, i - TopicsExpress

my story... it was really hard to move on from a relationship, i cried from my heart... i was depressed.. i wanted to live alone. i wanted nobody just him. but it was nnot possible then at all.. harry cheated on me and he was the only reason to drive our relationship to juch an aweful end. he crushed my heart so hard, that it pains even after so many dayz.. i dont know how to come over... i am affraid even to think about love. my friends say that i should find new love. . . but i dont think its possible any more... i loved that guy so much. i never troubled him with any thing. and i never cheated at all. i dont know why? i dont know why it happened? may be he loves to see me cry. . . And here comes a new twist. . . i got admission in engineering college, There is a kind of handsome, silent guy in my class. his name is ryan. i feel he has some emotional problem. . . i feel he is depressed too.. one day while i was going through these tough days... he msg me on facebook. . he said "hello" this way we became friends, we used to talk, share secrets and all that stuff what a good friends do. we liked each other. he has a girlfriend. one day i found that i love him. . . but again my past stands before me and i could not tell what i feel about him. actually after breakup, i did not recovered yet. the way my first love left me, i feel like a cheap trash, who is not made to be loved at all. and this feeling makes me take a backstep on this path. rayn made me forget all my sorrows and i kick-started my life again but his love and care as a friend ofcourse, made me fall for his and push back into the darkness. i am alone again. I dont trust any guy anymore when it is the matter of love. and i personaly dont want to be with anyone, not even with ryan. i love ryan but i dont want him to be with me, then again i cant even live without rayn too. . . THE PROBLEM IS- I dont want love in my life, but i want love in my life. this helpless situation makes me cry everyday. . . this is all becouse of harry :(