ok, so for the past 2 days i have been sittin here wondering if i was to die right now, would i go to heaven? to be honest , i dont know. i believe in god and all, and was babtized many years ago at a creek in mt. vernon. i have asked for forgiveness and all that but still i end up goin back to how i always am. to be honest yeah i smoked once apon a time and if it was presented to me i would take up the offer. i couldnt say as to how long its been since i last smoked cause its been quite some time. my guess would be a month or so. before that though it was over months and months ago. i dont want to go to hell but i am unsure of myself. i guess you could ssay that i dont trust myself. heck, i have a hard enough time trusting people around me cause you never know who a person truely is. I know god and jesus are real cause i talk to them every night about my day and how people dont like me cause of the way i dress and have my hair. everyone is too busy judging me. and yes it bothers me. why, i do not know. im not much of a talker in person but on a peice of pater or typing on the computer i feel close to an open book. Ill say what i want whether it hurts your feelings or makes you want to commit suicide, and could care less about it. my life wasnt always pretty but i remember a few good times. sometimes my brain needs a kickstart cause it dont work like a normal person. well atleast for what i consider normal. i feel at a loss and dont know how to fix it. if i cant stay on the right path, then what can i do....
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 03:20:22 +0000
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