percy jackson crackfic. not written by me. sharing it from percyjacksonfanfiction link will be at the end. (contains words like, bulminia, lesbian...stuff. though not that much.) READ AT YO OWN RISK. LUKE AND HERMES MAKE TOAST!. Chapter One For no particular reason, Luke and Hermes were making mountains after mountains after mountains of toast. They had been at it for 3 days straight and didnt intend to stop anytime soon. You want some toast?! Luke sang to some random Hannah Montana song. I think you do! Please add some jam and some butter too! sang Hermes. Luke paused and went looking for Hermess favorite jam. He came back empty-handed. Were out of grape! So sad! Its all your fault, you bad dad! sang Luke. Hermes crossed his arms. You know what, son? he asked. Yeah, Dad? answered Luke. You got nerve! exclaimed Hermes. After they were done acting like idiots, Luke broke down crying on the floor. Waaaa! he sobbed. Were out of grape jam! So horrible! Its all my fault! No, its not! Hermes exclaimed. Yes, it is, his whiny son blubbered. Annabeth, who was suddenly so thin she made Paris Hilton look hideously obese, ran to the bathroom and puked her guts out. Im bulimic! she proudly announced, smiling and wiping the vomit off her mouth. Thats nice, sighed Dionysus. Luke stood up. You know what, Dad?! he screamed. Were gonna go out, searching the world for grape jam! How about we get at least one jar from every country? Hermes nodded. What a wonderful idea, Luke! And so, they got into a tiny, tiny, tiny wooden boat and sailed around the Earth, collecting as much grape jam as possible. Meanwhile, Thalia was shopping in Hollister. She had her hot pink iPod on. It was decorated with rainbow unicorn stickers and packed with songs by Hilary Duff, Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, and Justin Bieber. Like, OMG! she yelled. Its a purple Hannah Montana t-shirt! I have to have it! She spent all her money on the designer clothes. Chapter Two The gods were watching their TV, wondering where the hell Hermes was. Probably playing ding-dong-ditch or something, sighed Zeus. Pretty typical of Hermes. Suddenly, the news came on. Good evening, the reporter said. Im Jeanette North, and Ive got some breaking news. Hermes and his famous son Luke Castellan have just gone all around the world, collecting millions of grape jam jars! Luke, what do you plan on doing with all that jam? A fair-haired boy with pale blue eyes appeared on the screen. He smiled. First, were going to spend the weekend making toast nonstop - literally! Are you even going to stop to go to the bathroom? asked Jeanette. Nope, Luke answered. Well just go in our pants. Screw pottytraining! Jeanette stared blankly at Luke. Ok...what are you going to do with all the extra jam? Make April, daughter of Artemis, sell it, Luke replied. You know, the chick with the bun in the oven? (A/N: To read Aprils story, click here.) Hermes came on the screen. Im ticked at Artemis for reasons unexplained to the readers, he said. So my son and I are making April spend a long, boring four weeks selling our jam. After shes done, well pay her $30. She severely needs it, that poor little knocked up kid. Jeanette stared blankly at Luke and Hermes. Ok, then. Well, I guess this story is over. In recent news, Percy Jackson got Annabeth Chase pregnant! Athena and Poseidon hugged each other. Congratulations on being a grandma! exclaimed Poseidon. Congratulations on being a grandpa! exclaimed Athena. Im so glad were sharing that grandchild! Everyone else just stared and gasped. Then, the doors opened (A/N: Does Mount Olympus even have doors? LOL) and in came a girl with dirty blonde/light brown hair (it varied based on whatever mood the author was in *cough*Maximum Ride*cough*). It was...Clarisse La Rue! Im a lesbian! she screamed. The gods all came to congratulate her. Then all of a sudden, another person randomly decided to burst in. It was...Dora the Explorer! MORE CRACKFICS AT:percyjacksonfanfiction.wikia/wiki/Percy_Jackson_Fanfiction_Wiki
Posted on: Fri, 31 Jan 2014 09:42:01 +0000
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