// so I want to take a moment and tell my story. I trust all of you and im sure you can relate, some of you have heard this story. Last year around this time of the year I no longer wanted to live. I hated myself so much, I thought I had no reason to be here anymore. So I remember around this time last year I stopped eating, I hardly slept, and I cried as I fell asleep at night. I was so alone. My arms were so cut up and I couldnt go without wearing long sleeves. I was so drunk on depression there were mornings I woke up with infected cuts on my arms that I hardly remembered even giving myself. I felt sick all the time like I was always goingn to throw up since I didnt eat. I had a headache constantly...and my eyes were so sunk in. Not just tired eyes, I had such dark eyes people asked me if I got punched in the eyes getting a black eye. I am a writer, singer and multi instrumentalist. Last year I stopped doing all I loved. I use to just sit and stare. I didnt speak a lot...I just would stare and always think about dying. One evening I was in my bathroom I grabbed the razors...and came out sitting on my table as music played in the distance. I began cutting my arm deep as blood spilled out running down my arm all a sudden I heard hello my name is gerard way from my chemical romance... I held my hand over my cut walkig over to my labtop... I listened to gerard speak about depression...his voice went inside me getting rid of all the negatives. After his video was done I cleaned up my arms, showered, ate a good meal, went to bed, slept well, and ever since I never self harmed. And ever since that day more and more I know I am beautiful, I have a future, im very important, im very special, and people love me. Im glad to say I love myself and although I still have little anxiety attacks and occasionally my depression gets me down I still know im not leaving this world till the proper time. I love you all and stay strong.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 01:03:06 +0000