…something you have to know about me to understand these events- I was nine when Children of the Corn came out and it cut me deep. I was just sitting in the outer waiting room of my back surgeon. Sitting across from me was a young black haired mother and four VERY blonde children. For all intents and purposes they must be referred to as CotC (Child of the Corn)1,2,3,and “niblet”( the fourth was a baby). I am terrible guessing children’s ages so I normally hold my hand at different heights to discern heir ages. CotC 1 would have come to the middle of my chest, 2 was about 6-8 inches shorter and 3 was about the middle of my thigh. For further importance 1 was playing on her cellphone, 2 was reading a book, and 3 was playing hell spawn by running around knocking over magazines, kicking peoples chairs and and yelling “turd”. At first I thought that might have been the newest word he had learned but a minute later I would realize that it was a precursor and as fate would have it turd was right on the money. Mother was too engrossed in cooing with “niblet” to reign in 3 so he was free to torment all of us. Apparently everyone in the room was as scarred as I since none of us had the courage to even look directly upon these CotC. Anyway, after a few minutes 1 yells “Mother make him stop! He’s licking the table.” The next sentence will forever hang in the air of that waiting room. As such, the mother would probably wish they had never left her lips. “You all licked things at that age. You used to give your sister cat poop and tell her it was chocolate.” Any horror movie fan will tell you that you never look directly at the scary kids but I couldn’t help it. I did look up and CotC 2 staring directly at me- looking for any since of validation that her mother had in fact just said that. I couldn’t look away fast enough so she knew it was true. CotC 2 marked her page, set her book down, and stood up facing her sister. Without a word she reared back and popped CotC 1 right in the eye. Everyone in the room heard it and none of us could look away. Before 1 could turn her rapid breathing and lip quivering into a full on crying fit, 2 shook her finger back and forth in her face and said “Uh-uh! You don’t get to cry. I ate the poop.” The mother then made the initial movement of trying to get up and leave with the kids but 2 then turned to her and said “It’s too late. You let her feed me poop.” The mother sat back down and kept from making eye contact with any of us in the room. Right after that the nurse called me back. I made it about three feet before I busted out laughing so hard tears were rolling. This was the best Monday I’ve had in a looooong time!
Posted on: Mon, 12 Aug 2013 21:42:39 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015