today marks 5 years in LA. my whole life, I dreamed of living here. I remember watching the Oscars when I was very little and thinking, I want to do that when I grow up! I took a few crazy and wonderful detours along the way, but five summers ago, as I saw middle age (and maybe my last chance at this) quickly approaching, I finally moved back to the U.S., and - joy! - to the magical LALAland of dreams and eternal sunshine. Ive been trying to count my blessings, but Im not gonna lie, in most aspects of the plan - career, creative, social, health, quality of life - Im not nearly where I, quite realistically (I dream but Ive been around long enough to contain the delusion), felt I would be at my five year mark. Id gotten pretty good at starting over in and adapting to new locations, and even recreating myself when necessary, but, for all its wonder and dreamy potential, Im not so sure this is a town where starting all over again is a particularly sane life move. but whaddya gonna do when this is all you ever wanted to do? five years isnt that long, I suppose, but it is a significant marker. a potent reminder to reflect, reassess, and try to find the strength to regroup and restrategize. a lot of res there. Id like fewer of those, and a lot more solid ground, strong, lasting relationships, a sense of roots and ties and LA family, a good, reliable routine of healthier (physically and spiritually) living, and, certainly, some career momentum where I can focus more on all the exciting things I get or am going to do instead of all the stuff I dont or will probably never. Id like the positivity to not be such an effort all of the time. and as proud I am of all the things Ive accomplished in life on my own, I would really love some of the help Ive so bravely learned to ask for to pan out. these are just melancholic thoughts. its been a really tough summer. still celebrating the blessings that came my way, dont worry: music, improv, friends, sound advice, my students, a couple sweet gigs, and of course Chinglish. oh, and family and old friends who are convinced Im on the verge of something amazing =) I cant imagine getting through all this without all those and you. so... heres to a better five years, ok?
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 19:19:53 +0000
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