wanted to mark the close of Intl Everything-on-the-Internet-is-Nothing-But-Utter-Bullshit Day, with some Real Talk. The following is a list of some of the things I dont care for: Iceland. Buzzfeed. Humidity. Stan Lee. Tzatziki Sauce. Nerd Pride. Ty Burrell. Hoisin Sauce. Justin Bieber, but not nearly as much as people going on incessantly about how much they dislike him. We get it. Mole Sauce. That recent viral video from that dumb lady who was getting tailgated, but whos first instinct was to whip out a camera to film the whole thing rather than to just simply get out of the passing lane. The Walking Dead. Most condiments in general. Wil Wheaton. Extreme oversensitivity on Tumblr. Windows 8. Fascism. Comic Sans. Vincent Connare, unrepentant inventor of Comic Sans. The immediate Why? people have when they find out I dont drink. A large chunk of that last Daft Punk album, but you know, good for them, whatever. Being tagged in Facebook posts, photos, etc. Philly sports teams. Anyone who sees fit to besmirch Jason Statham. Crank 2 High Voltage is a masterpiece & I wont hear different. Doctor Who ever since it got money. Those white plastic vat containers sour cream, cottage cheese, & other dairy products come on & the idea of reusing them for other things. How do I know you rinsed out ALL of that gnarly dairy thoroughly enough? Cookie Dough. Pretty much all fandoms beside like maybe Aliens & John Carpenter. Orlando, Florida. The Sense of Overwhelming Dread that comes over me whenever I have to go to the Poconos (or, as I like to call them, the Meth Barrens). Big Bang Theory (the sitcom with the four Urkels I mean, not the event. Existence, as a concept you know, is pretty alright) Rampant hyperbole. Joss Whedon. Ironic Pronunciations of brand names. How lackluster Ragnarok turned out to be. Seeing some gag on my tumblr feed, & then George Takei putting it on his facebook three weeks later & people treating it as a revelation. The fact I shouldnt really be letting my sentences end with prepositions. The idea of a Space Elevator. Pete Holmes Laugh. Whenever people insist Ooh, draw me! immediately after finding out I can draw. Sunlight. The feeling that I should be on Reddit, but really cant be arsed. Yogurt. Popcorn &/or Popcorn smell. Seeing so much of... oh whats his face. The English guy with the really English name? With the face...? Benedict Cumberbatch! Yeah. Seeing so much of his face. Apple Products. Polar Bears. George Lucas. Large corporations. Spam Emails. The term Trigger Warning. Talking on the phone, generally. Having to go back & retroactively stick feathers into some of these Dinosaurs we know & love. Intolerance. Robins. Baloney all that much really. The notion that putting Applewood in front of it gives you free reign to jack the price of bacon. People not shutting up about bacon. Skrillex, on principal. More for his choice of haircut than music.. Whatever accent Peter Dinklage is attempting to do on Game of Thrones. That in the hip hop world, theres been a rapper named 2 Chainz for a bit now & it has yet to kick off any kind of Price is Right-like bidding feud among subsequent rappers. The world demands 3 Chainz! Trail Mix. Hearing about Frozen. The shock people have when they find out I havent seen any Tolkien movie since Ralph Bakshi animated that shit. And even then, wasnt that into it. Ayn Rand. Hákarl. Any trilby, porkpie, or fedora style like hat worn past the mid-sixties, with the notable exceptions of ones worn by dudes in early Ska bands or Jacksons, & even then, its on a case by case basis. The fact there will never be another episode of Delocated. Acute Bradley Cooper Oversaturation. Those dumb mashup drawings some random artist will do on a whim that sites aggregate, like What if the Star Wars Muppet Babies episode was steampunk? Neil Gaiman. How if you drink a glass of milk, you only have like a fifteen minute window to reuse that glass again before it starts becoming gnarly. Comments on YouTube videos. The much longer, much nicer US version of The Office. People who say theres too much negativity in the world. Talking about myself.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 01:28:06 +0000
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