well its another day,the hamster wheel inside my head is going into overdrive,i feel la la .Sat in the garden all 6paving slabs and various pots and stopped and thought ,i am coming out of my dark space at the moment i looked at the sunshine bouncing light of off the mirror ball that i have and realized that for a while freedom may be on its way.The triggers were pulled out in a massive way against me yeste rday but i actually put some demons to rest when i was able to shriek and cry out loud all the years i have been going to group i have held back and never done it kind of scared that if i did no one would be able to stop me but i stopped myself i did not cry like a movie star ,my face was red my eyes were red and a copious amount of snot made me look like some crazed animal.People listened and it was out there my feelings in the ether ,did i feel vulnerable yes was this a strange feeling no ,have always felt it but scared to let it go , certain people my three friends have seen it but until yesterday it was my closed space no one allowed in .My three friends and u know who u r i give u my thanks for being there for me whatever lucia ,vikki and rikki i love u all loads and probably would not have got here without ur words of kindness and your love and patients i would be so pleased at this moment in time i could grant your every wish , but until i am reincarnated as the fairy god mother u will have to make do with this i love u all so very much and am blessed to know u .So to all of u who are in a dark space having a hard time remember if it is 6 squares of paving ,sunlight on a mirror ball lol [why would u have one in your garden i dont know unless u are as mad as a box of frogs l there is a chance like me ] that the good days will be there all of a sudden they will creep up so hang on ,hang in and slow down that hamster wheel that is carrying your thoughts quicker than ussain bolt xxxx
Posted on: Tue, 02 Jul 2013 07:07:18 +0000
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