woke up at 5, the way I would on the first day of school (I loved school). I have had a confused morning, because thats what happens when you have lists (plural). But I think Im on track now. The turkey is ready and Ive neurotically disinfected the kitchen. (this is what happens when you teach cooking, nutrition and food safety for a couple of years. poultry is scary and I wonder how our family cooks never poisoned us all) Now, I need to peel and grate potatoes and fry latkes but its yet early and I am lollygagging with coffee, the sky clear and powdery, not willing to be blue yet and the sun, still low on the horizon, is a perfect glowing orb of brassy yellow. A cold white light is cast on everything, making sure I see every speck of schmutz. Lovely. My poor lunk has about a thousand e-mails and texts from me because I realize things I forgot. And.....and....PS....Also,.....but hes one of those guys who never gets irritated by that stuff. I irritate him in person, that we know, but not so much in my barrage of favor-asking. So, now he has a full list of things I need from him. Wait until I tell him Id like him to come early too. THAT part will definitely irritate him. He simply wont do it if he doesnt want to, knowing that by the time he arrives, I will be so stressed and busy and happy to see him and everyone else that I will forget that hes a little weasel. (Also, hes decided not to shave the entire month of November and I do not NOT like him with his beautiful jaw-line hidden. I am very upset that he has a hairy face and I make sure I tell him every time I see him, just in case I have not yet irritated him. Ah, motherhood. Unconditionally loved is a good situation. Too bad its so hard to do with people who did not come out of your body or whose body you did not emerge from. Thats a fact. We can all try our hardest but really, if love is a verb, were pretty quick to remove ourselves from people we allegedly love, just because we dont dig their schtick. I could never, in a billion lifetimes choose to be far away from my lunk. Look at me, Im in Portland, still, even when this may not be the best place to be me. Its like that line from the perfectly hilarious song from Phantom: Anywhere you go let me go too..... I mean, not literally, but regionally, at least. Life is long when you miss someone and short when youre old and realize you chose to be absent for hours and hours and hours of possible mutual irritations. You are keeping me from grating but I will tell you one more beautiful thing Karen did for me yesterday: she brought over her little food processor so I dont have to grate the potatoes by hand, even after she realized she no longer had her big one and then had to go borrow her mother-in-laws for her own kitchen project. Im telling you, love is a verb. Happy Thankucka. I hope you are all surrounded by people who believe in you and see you the as you want to be seen, who value what you bring to their lives and who accept those parts of you that are your truest self. I hope you have much for which to be grateful and that at least one person has you at the top of their list of treasures. I hope that, even if today is no big whoop and youre just hanging out alone, I hope you realize that there is beauty in that too, that not every year is the same, indeed, it is not intended to be. (My sons dad once drove Em away fro their summer vacation ON MY BIRTHDAY, and didnt even remember it was my birthday and I stood in the driveway, waving. Was it the end of the world? How can it be when your little guy is overjoyed and he and his daddy are driving away, blowing kisses?) Sometimes, reflecting in solitude is what your soul has arranged for you. Trust me, Ive had my share of reflecting in solitude and you emerge a fuller being if you dont do a number on yourself about it. Thats my Thankucka advice and it only comes around once for us because this overlap is rare. It wont happen again until 2070 and then not again until 2165!
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 17:24:31 +0000
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