-Just a year- A fragment of time has come And gone and its passed so fast. This time last year I was saying goodbyes. Having dreams about leaving this town. Making people mad or sad or even happy that I kept talking about leaving. Doing something bigger than myself. Traveling the country.... Experiencing something awesome. And I did. And last night, after a small incident here in my own home .... Came, a flood of emotion. Brokenness. Happiness. Relief. Stress. Regret. Unhappy. happy. Sentimentality. Regret. And... All day Ive been so heavy hearted. Bc somehow, my whole last year and whole next year collided and left me in a daze of ... Confusing and stressful feelings. Feelings as they may be, they come and go. But what the heck do they mean. And I truly think its a colliding of both worlds opening up my Eyes to see the truth within everything. I had a major wake up call a few weeks ago... At least I hope thats all it was. A year ago I was living a triple life. Full of strife. Confusion. Pain. Regret. Sin. Etc. It was nasty. And to see where I am now.... Its seriously amazing what God does. And how he does it. Ive still got much growing to do and strength to gain. But. Lord knows Ive come a long way... I miss the road. I miss waking. Up In dark hours to drive to some school full of rude kids just to tell them to care for one another. I miss seeing things I thought I never would. From the cold air and seeing my breath. Jumping over the slush into another hotel room... To the loud screams you get when you tell kids to yell. I miss LA. I miss the constant discovery of new music. I miss traffic jams. I miss the calm rush sound of LA highways in the background(always). I miss my friends. I wish I could relive some of these things. BLAH. Anyway. I digress. All this to say. For the last 6-8 years Ive relived and lived through something very amazing or important or stressful or life changing between the months of sept.- April. Always. Never the summer months. Always the cold... So I am very interested as to how this season will finish and leave me. Im curious as to how the next will treat me. Hhhh. Ill shut up now. Goodnight facebook.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 07:28:15 +0000
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