08.12.11 - Ill never forget the day you sat me and Jordan down and told us you had just been diagnosed with lung cancer, and not only that but stage 4 lung cancer all with nothing but positive vibes and smiles coming from you.. I know you must have been scared and in pain but you showed a brave face in order to give your family hope.. At the time it didnt feel real, I was heart broken yet, I always, always had hope. For months I watched you deteriorate then regain yourself, but one things for sure, you never gave up, you fought the cancer with everything you had in you, no matter how hard it became to breathe, you would still make an effort to have family dinners out at restaurants, come along with me whilst I shopped, held Roro in your arms and always, always found a way to make mum smile.. Doctors said you wouldnt make it past a couple months, but instead your made it over a year and proved them all wrong, you held strong in your beliefs on natural medicines, and a healthy lifestyle and I truly believe that is what gave you the extra time you had with us, you didnt want to spend the last part of your life bedridden, so you still made sure you lived life everyday to the absolute fullest. The hardest thing in the world is knowing that every day I would leave the house, go to school or go to sleep at any time all of that could be taken away.. And it did. The day I got phone calls to come down to the hospital, I could feel it in my gut that something wasnt right, and soon I would have to sit down with mum and 6 doctors advising us, this was it.. It was time to let you go be in peace. I was not ready to do that, but I knew how broken mum would be, so I held a brace face even though my whole world came crashing down, watched mum sing to you in your final moments, surrounded by family, until you took your last breath.. And that was it, the most purest part of my heart left with you that day, all my hope was gone, all my dreams of having my dad walk me down the aisle at my wedding, having you help teach Romeo everything you knew, having my best friend in the whole world be gone in a blink of an eye.. Everyone that knew me, knew I was the biggest daddies girl, you were my biggest role model, Ive never met anyone with a heart as pure and whole as yours, in the 18 years that I had you in my life, you had taught me lessons of a lifetime and I will always cherish those moments close to my heart.. 3 years on, and the pain isnt any less, I will never learn to live in a world that your not in, I will never accept that Ill never see you again, all I can do is deal with it.. I love you daddy, I really wished you could have lived till 100, if anyone was truly deserving of life it was YOU. • 45years old is way to young, cancer I hate you. RIP, loving and missing you always! ~
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 02:40:39 +0000
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