11pm Ring. Ring. KEVIN. Something is wrong with me!!!! [Panicked voice]. Me? Whats wrong Dad?! Dad: I woke up to pee and was sitting on the side of the bed and I got that shock up my leg again right into me arse just like the other night when the vibrator shocked me. Me: (After asking a bunch of questions) What did you do to make it go away? Dad: I ran to the kitchen and stood on top of my sneakers. Me: You did WHAT?? Dad: Well, the other day thats what I did when the vibrator shocked me so I figured it would work again. I thought maybe the sump pump in the basement stopped worked and maybe wires down there got wet and I was getting electrocuted AGAIN. Me: Dad.... Were you shoveling in the storm tonight? Dad: Yeah, about an hour and a half. why? Me: Did you take your lyrica? (pain med for nerve pain from pinched nerve in lower back) Dad: Not yet. Me: Dad, its midnight there. When were you planning to take it? Have you been going to the physiotherapist? Dad: No. I dont want no man touchin me (biting tongue). Me: Dad, you gotta strengthen your lower back. The shock feeling is from a pinched nerve when you sit a certain way..... you probably werent getting shocked by the vibrator last Friday either. Youre ok. Dad: Oh, well, I KNEW that. Get to bed. Click. (..... I have been sitting here pissing myself laughing thinking of poor Dad standing in the middle of the dark kitchen on top of his sneakers at midnight in his underwear, thinking he was getting shocked. Youre one of a kind Dad).
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 04:00:35 +0000
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