17 Things Successful People Never Say Youll never catch a successful person saying, Its not fair. Over 2,500 years ago, philosopher and poet Lao Tzu taught that our words become actions, which eventually become our destiny. In first century Greece, historian and essayist Plutarch declared that a speakers state of mind, character, and disposition are exposed through their words. And Napoleon Hill, the twentieth century father of personal success literature, asserts that words plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. Across the planet, sages insist that words are potent and should be chosen and spoken with care, for they are the most powerful drug used by mankind, as Rudyard Kipling warns, says Darlene Price, president of Well Said, Inc., and author of Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results. If theyre right, it stands to reason that what we say to ourselves and others plays a critical role in helping us achieve success. Regardless of how you may define success, words will help manifest that vision into reality. There are also words and phrases that can damage your self-image, mar your reputation, and jeopardize your success, Price says. To optimize your success, eliminate this language from your vocabulary and never speak it to yourself or another person. Here are 17 phrases successful people never say: I have no choice, or, I had no choice. Successful people always see the options, regardless of the circumstances, Price says. To say we have no choice in the matter implies that we perceive ourselves as a victim; that we are less powerful than our environment. These weak words relieve the speaker of all responsibility. Successful people say: I have a choice, Here are our options, or, Lets imagine all the possibilities. They know that claiming and exercising the power to choose is the first step toward achieving their goals, she says. I should have, or, I could have. The words should, could, and ought imply regret, blame, finger-pointing, and fault, whether you say them to yourself or another person. Successful people dont wallow in the past, and they rarely regret a decision or action, says Price. Even if its deemed a failure by others, they accept it as a learning experience that gets them one step closer to their goal. Similarly, they avoid: You should have, and, You could have. Theres no quicker way to upset a boss, colleague, or customer than to suggest theyre guilty of something (even if they are). Instead, take a collaborative approach. Say, Please help me understand why… or, Next time may we adopt an alternative approach… I cant do that, or, Thats impossible, or, That cant be done. Not only are these words self-limiting, others perceive them as pessimistic, unconstructive, even defeatist, Price explains. Achievers know there are countless roadblocks on the road to success — barriers that may stall or stump, but never stop them. They either remove the barrier, or figure out a way to go over, under, or around it. The words cant or impossible rarely enter the minds of successful people. Instead of throwing in the towel, Price says, they speak in terms of alternative ways to get the work accomplished: What I can do is... Im sure theres a way to... Instead of ___, lets try___. As the great industrialist Henry Ford said, Whether you think you can, or you think you cant — youre right. Thats not my job, or, I dont get paid enough for this, or, Thats not my problem. Successful people help others succeed. As billionaire Warren Buffett says, Someones sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. Think of planting trees as your job, Price says. If youre asked to do something by your boss, coworker, or a customer, its because its important to them. Therefore, as a team player, goal No. 1 is to figure out how to help them get it accomplished. Even if its not in your job description, by saying so displays a career-limiting bad attitude. Even if your boss lays an unreasonable request on your desk, reply positively by saying, Sure, Ill be glad to help you accomplish that. Given my current tasks of A, B, and C, which one of these would you like to place on back-burner while I work on this new assignment? This response clearly communicates a prioritized workload, alongside a willing attitude to help, she says. But weve always done it that way, or, Thats not the way we do it here. Successful people are passionate about innovation, finding a better way of doing something. In fact, Steve Jobs said, Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. For this reason, effective managers value employees who demonstrate creative thinking, flexibility, and problem-solving skill, Price explains. These phrases, in one fell swoop, reveal you are the opposite: stuck in the past, inflexible, and closed-minded, she says. Even if you disagree with someones idea, say instead, Wow, thats an interesting idea. How would that work? Or, Thats a different approach. Lets discuss the pros and cons. Its not fair. She got a raise, you didnt. He was recognized, you werent. That department is receiving funding, yours isnt. Injustices happen on the job and in the world every day, she says. Successful people are proactive about issues versus reactive. Instead of complaining or whining, take action: document the facts, build a case, and present an intelligent argument to the person or group that can help you. Hes a jerk, or, Shes lazy, or, My job stinks, or, I hate this company. Successful people avoid words of judgment, insult, and negativity, says Price. Regardless of your feelings or the circumstances, avoid making unconstructive or judgmental statements that convey a negative attitude toward people or your job. If a genuine complaint or issue needs to be brought to someones attention, do so with well-documented facts, tact, consideration, and neutrality. Nothing tanks a career faster than name-calling or mudslinging, she says. Not only does it reveal juvenile immaturity, its language that may be libel and fire-able. Successful people choose words carefully to state observable facts and avoid disparaging language.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:52:23 +0000