2 am a huge thunderstorm hit, I jumped up and told Peyton I have - TopicsExpress

2 am a huge thunderstorm hit, I jumped up and told Peyton I have to get the kids, they will wake up scared! So I fought with the covers to run and get them before the crying started.. Khloe was awake, scared.. and Hunter was sound asleep so I took khlobug to our room.. and she and I skimmed fb.. Ive heard people say I changed after I had Khloe, and honestly I denied it.. I didnt see it.. I refused to see it.. but looking through my page at old stuff I noticed I went from outgoing and driven.. to shut off and I guess kinda depressing.. not bubbly like I use to be.. and Ive lost lots of friends and pushed family away because of it.. I started getting sick after I had khloe... but I didnt want to admit it I guess... I got depressed.. then I had hunter and it got worse.. not to mention the baby weight I put on.. dealing with peytons ptsd and tbi didnt help any.. it made the hole deeper.. and then I had liam.. and they found a little cancer.. and the hole got even deeper.. my ocd and depression got worse.. and it got to the point where I just felt like this was it.. There was no point to really anything.. I was going to die anyway.. so then after painful Dr visits and biopsies I was told Im not getting worse so I can be left alone for a year and then more tests will happen to make sure I am staying the same and things dont get worse.. and since that day Ive been trying hard to make the most of each day.. trying to get back to my happy place.. its hard.. its really hard... and I am not one to take to Facebook with all of this open-ness but I guess I felt I should explain myself to the family and friends that have stuck around and the new ones Ive made along the way.. The ones that have had faith in me.. today Ive turned 25.. and I am still sick.. I have good days and bad... but I am getting help.. I am seeing Drs and making progress.. and I promise to all that have stuck around.. One day I WILL be the Kayna you knew and loved.. until then Im just going to try my best and if anyone wants to be rude about this post.. just delete yourself please.. I dont like drama Im just trying to work on making the most of my life.. check things off my bucket list and get better on the way. Sorry its so long..

GOOD EVENING EVERYONE , WELL ITS STOPPED RAINING HERE ... GOOD JOB

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