2 years ago, on this date, I should have been dead. I was going no where in life, drinking too much and was depressed and had no reason to live. 2 years ago, I was so intoxicated that I had no fear. 2 years ago, I wanted it all to be over. 2 years ago, I took over 150 sleeping pills and waited to die. Somehow the police got to me and I woke in the hospital ICU hallucinating. Today, I am sober, healthier, and depression is no where in sight. My jump start came from my soon to be niece at the time, Brooklyn a birthday gift from her and Geoffrey, a book called Operation Beautiful. It gave me inspiration, it gave me a positive outlook. It gave me a start. I turned my life back over to God, and things took off from there. I still have bad days, like everyone, but have learned how to not dwell on it. I know we all grow, and we will all have growing pains. We learn from our mistakes, and we keep going on. I am very thankful for family and friends, who have been supportive and helped me. I have learned, I dont have much, I work hard, and sometimes it doesnt seem fair. But, I try to give to those that are in need when I can. I try to be positive. I try to enjoy life. I try not to get angry. It doesnt accomplish much. I try not to let myself get hurt, it only builds up bitterness. I ask forgiveness when I do wrong. I am still working on how to learn to forgive myself for all the hurtful things I have done to myself and others. I want to thank you all for all you have had to put up with. All the support you have given, and all the love that has been poured out. God is amazing and changed my life. I have a reason to live. He is always there for me, even when I dont feel it. My church family, Full Gospel Evangelistic Center, thank you for all the support and prayers you have given me over the past few years. I love each and every one of you. My friends and family from Clinton Assembly of God Church, I love you and miss you all so much. So many wonderful times growing up and so many of you will always be a huge part of my life, no matter how far apart we end up. Sorry about the whole rebellious teenage years to my youth leaders. I wish my dad and Pastor Billy Bell was here today to see how God changed me. I know Pastor had to come over MANY times in the middle of the night to help mom and dad control me. He sure earned his pay :) To all my FB friends and family. I Love you.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 02:40:15 +0000
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