3 TYPES OF WOMEN WHO AREN’T MARRIAGE MATERIAL Deep down every woman wants to get married and raise a home especially here in Africa. However a lot of these women do not possess the qualities that would attract and sustain the interest of a man for a life long relationship. Stating it simply, these women are not marriage material and unless they realise this and make changes they may never enjoy the bliss of marriage. I have included here bits of advice to help you if you fall into this category but they are not enough. You must seek intensive counseling and be prepared to make serious attitudinal changes. Here we go: THE POSSESSIVE LADY: This is someone who immediately she makes up her mind to go with a brother, will toss herself hook line and sinker on the man. She never gives him breathing space. Thirty minutes after they have spent two hours together she is calling him and talking for another one hour. This lady may have good character and all the other qualities men desire in a woman but her problem is that she is so possessive that men get bored with her. The biggest challenge with this type of sister is that she keeps wondering why men ditch her despite all the love she shows to them but what she calls love the men call desperation. In her bid to show love she comes across as a very desperate woman. Men do not like desperate women. No man wants to marry someone who is an emotional liability. The solution is to learn to give any man you are courting some space. Don’t always go to him. Give him room to miss you. Go one week without calling him. It’s not your constant monitoring that will stop him from looking at other women. It’s his decision. Give your self respect. Stop using your money to cook for him and wash his clothes always. Stop making your self cheap before him. THE MATERIALISTIC LADY: Some time ago, a lady I was agreeing with in prayer over marriage, told me she will not marry a pastor who was interested in her. When I inquired why, she said he didn’t have money. But I pointed out that she was working and could make contribution but she refused. She told me that God says He will give her the desires of her heart and her desire is a wealthy man, because she liked designer dresses and wouldn’t marry a man who would lower her standards. This lady is not alone. Some ladies are so materialistic that men run from them. Before I met my wife I dated a lady who within the first week of our acquaintance made a demand on me which was more than my monthly salary. I ran from her. It’s time sisters learn the difference between looking good and being trendy. They are not the same. A good appearance enhances your value but it must not be expensive or the latest designer wears. You don’t need to wear a designer perfume. In fact a deodorant may be all you need to smell good. So stop scaring men away by your designer clothes as they wonder how they could afford them once they marry you. THE INTIMIDATOR: Some women find it difficult to accept that a man looking for a mate is not basically looking for an equal deep down. He is looking for a woman who will submit to him. The intimidator is the lady who flaunts her achievements, beauty, intelligence and knowledge before a man. She has worked so hard to get to where she is and cannot resist the urge to let the man showing interest in her to know that she is too much. She is self assertive and doesn’t waste time to assert her right and give her opinions. She is also fastidious and demands attention and respect from any man coming close to her. The consequence is that men avoid her. The intimidator forgets that a man sees himself as a master. A man’s ego is very important to him. He wants to be boss. He wants a woman that will look up to him as her master. That is what he is unconsciously looking for. If he meets you and you’re too assertive, always standing up for your rights, showing off your intelligence and refusing to be led by him, he will become intimidated and walk away. He may admire you as a colleague, friend, and mistress but never as a wife. He wants someone who will look up to him as her master. To get married, forget the gender war. Forget gender equality. Leave it for TV discussion. Stop worrying about male chauvinism and complex. Develop what the bible calls the ornament of a meek and gentle spirit or humility. Humility is the ability to give up the right to be right. It is strength under control. It is the character of the one who has the power to retaliate or assert her self yet remains silent. It is to know so much and yet keep from flaunting it. Without it no relationship will be enjoyable. So stop showing off your smartness. Stop showing off your wealth. Stop asserting your right. You will only intimidate men. Unless you don’t want to get married.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 13:11:07 +0000
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