[ 383 ] I saw the kid with the huge growth on his face and what the doctors did to remove the growth was absolutely amazing. These are the times that I will salute the doctors for their tenacity and courage to do an operation that is not the norm and then do it successfully. Congrats to all involved as the kid can now have a bit of normality in his life. Today, I had a bit of a walk and kicked the ball around on an oval for the first time in a long time. I was trying to not overdo it, not stress out my back too much, not get too tired while not loosing my focus on trying to rebuild my fitness again. I was pleased with my effort and will take a break from doing any physical activity tomorrow to just rest the effort of what I did today. Managing myself is the plan as I do want to start getting my fitness up and at a higher level than what it is now. Today ended my week that started on a very slow rate on Monday. The improvement in my energy levels is slow, my back is also slowly improving and I am changing my diet again to cater for the lack of energy I have at the moment. If it is not one thing, then it is another thing, but I am determined to improve myself slowly and definitely. Today, I was standing at the edge of a pier looking out onto the river and with the sun shinning, no wind to mention, the water as flat as glass and with the feeling in me to go water-skiing, I felt in my element to do a jump dry start from the pier into the river and go for an imaginary ski. The water was so inviting, that I was salivating at the mouth to jump in the river and start slashing from side to side. Then the side of my head related to reality quickly turned itself on and I found myself on the edge of the pier just thinking what could have been. The many experiences of me doing a jump dry start similar to where I was standing today was oozing out of my mind. Damn it, I said. But the memories are vivid and the thought I had today was also vivid. And the weird thing about me, is that when I water-ski, I am a left foot forward on my ski bindings and yet when I kick a ball, I am a right foot. I am right handed in writing and drawing and with doing things but I am left handed when playing cricket. In fact I can bat on both sides very comfortably. And when I used to do high jump, I was running in from the left side as I can not high jump from the right side even thou I am a right foot kicker of a soccer ball or a football. Man, it is amazing that I can just pick the correct foot or side that I need to use when I need to kick or bat or high jump or even doing water-skiing. Sure, I know, I am at the age that I may not be needing to do any of those things, but I did say that I am somewhat weird, so there you have it. Oh, and when I am playing badminton, I am right handed. Crazy, I know. Left, right, ... right left... what the hell right. If there were a middle, then I would be in serious trouble. lol... And, I am also waiting for the verdict of the Harris thing as I have read that he was on his way to the court room. I will leave it for now as I do have a heap more to say later on. So, today, I apologised for the things I have said in the past [ all true and to the point ], apologised for the swear words [ if I did not, then I do now ] and apologised for my attitude at times when depicting some of the past events in my past life that were and are true, very real and mostly illegally done to me. I know I have gotten on my high horse at times trying to explain myself and it was only done because as I was writing [ typing ], the memories started flooding back to me of what happened to me and it was getting my blood boiling a bit. I believe that bottling it all up inside of me was more detrimental to me than expressing the many illegal past events in written form, so getting high on my horse, so to speak, was also a way of benefitting me mentally with getting all the shit out in the open and relieving me of undue and unnecessary bad arse past events in my life. Harbouring all those bad arse past events probably was doing me more harm than good, and I have also felt better in myself with getting all the things out of me and in the open that have illegally happened to me. I must admit, a few of the happenings have been tough on me and has definitely moulded me into the person I am today. Couple with my minds improvement and a tonne of new found words that have evolved within my vocabulary, I feel ready to handle many situations I am faced with, with confidence, purpose and attitude should I need it if provoked. As I have said, I feel grounded, more balance and have an attitude for a more purposeful life in my future, even if it is only doing a medial job. Respect is also high on my list of things to do when around people and discussing things. I started my working life working in offices and in drawing and design rooms and also began my life acknowledging and dealing with people in their senior positions and roles that I was regulated to while doing my work. Having meetings, meetings in board rooms and discussing design requirements and proposals for future developments and plans have also been a part of my life that I managed to deal with ease. Dealing with council staff, financial institutions, clients briefs, and signing contracts for a sale of a property has all been in my repertoire for many years of my working life, as well as driving, operating machinery and building construction. If I were to say that, I have been there and done that , one may need to believe what I am saying if I ever do say it. And the part in my thinking that is repeating itself over and over is that I keep picturing myself doing a job or working in a situation that I was involved in doing many years ago in my past, related to design and building. Even today, I was talking to a guy that is looking at getting involved in a housing development soon and we were talking about things related to the concept of the buildings. Anyway, I do not know what the future holds for me at this point of time, but just maybe they are all the memories of my past that is serving my thoughts of what I have done in my past. These are the times I would love to have a crystal ball, even thou they only exist in fantasies. Never mind, just keep on keeping on and see where I head in my future with working in a job somewhere. And I will say, today was another beautiful day for the memory books. Keep it coming I say. And I also wanna say this, that I have also been thinking about myself maybe one day hooking up with a lady/woman. The thought is real as I would love to be responsible for someone with caring, spending time together, loving, sharing and whatever else comes under that heading of having a partner/relationship. And maybe, writing all the stuff I have been writing is also another way of, telling it how it is and how it has been for me. Okay, so I may have scared off 99.99% of all the ladies reading what I have said [ if at all anyone is reading what I am saying ] about myself with what has happened during my crazy life and unbelievable happenings. But for me, it is better that the person/lady/woman totally understands what I have been through and with me bullshitting, will not happen. I have opened up my life more or less on FB and therefore I have nothing to hide or be told I have not said anything about myself for any future life I may be lucky to have with a woman. At times, I have looked back on my past and have concluded that I have been a product of being a victim of people just taking advantage of me. Whether it is legal or illegally done, I have been used, abused and consequently, nothing good has come from what has happened to me from many different levels. But with all the cons, all the bullshit, all the lies and all the illegal happenings done to me, I have become a far more tougher individual, but balanced, with a good understanding of many things and a sensitivity about me with a caring nature that still has a heart to share with a lady in the future, in more ways than one I hope. Yer, sometimes I do go on, but then with everything that has happened to me, I believe that I am a great guy that will care and make a woman proud to know me, and share me with her life as well. Now this is not an ad for me wanting to get laid tonight or anything like that, as I have still got a long way to go with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and getting out from that tunnel of hell. I am more or less trying to take good care of myself, get fitter, find a good job and then get a place to live/rent. My priorities are genuine and even thou I had hopes of seeing someone, that will never happen due to her commitment with him, and obviously visa versa. But I am focused on continuing my fitness rebuild and then getting a good paying job with a place to live in. No fluff, just getting on with life and making the best of my life from a unbelievable life situation I have lived. I know that I have got heaps of years ahead of me and also heaps to offer in a relationship, and will prove it as time goes on. And I am firmly fixed on staying, living and working in Sydney as I have fallen in love with the place, even thou I have had a heap of bad luck happenings here. As I have said, it has been tough for me. Have a good weekend, as its time for me to check out another flick. I cooked my meal, ate my meal, cleaned the mess and ready to chillax. Peace, love and good health to all the good guys and gals. Hope, is a single word that we all can ill afford to forget, or not do. Dont do anything that I will not do. John P. Novello
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 11:20:13 +0000
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