A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR ALLOTMENTEERS!!!!! I have been drying my chillies on a string for about three months now and this morning was the day to grind them up into chilli flakes. So I started off by removing the stalks and roughly crushing them with my hands. I know what you are thinking but I did have gloves on! Next I transferred the pieces to a pestle and mortar and began to crush the chillies into small flakes ready to be stored in a pretty hexagonal jar. After I transferred the flakes I decided to add some smoked paprika to the jar to enhance the lovely aroma I was getting during the crushing phase of the operation. After adding the paprika I gave the jar a shake to mix everything together and that is when I made my big mistake. I couldnt help but think what the chilli paprika mix would smell like, so I decided to open the jar and take a deep sniff to satisfy my curiosity. A schoolboy error. My instant reaction to the smell was to sneeze which sent a cloud of chilli mix flying into the air all over my face and as i breathed in down into my lungs. The pain in my throat was instant and sharp but nothing compared to my eyes, nose and face as the chillies did there magic. My eyes and nose were streaming what can only be described as red and orange ectoplasm while my skin felt as though someone was using a blow torch to melt my face. A glimmer of hope was seen through my poor poor eyes the fridge where milk is kept. Milk the only remedy to chillies. I staggerd to the fridge fell to my knees and yanked open the door and drank deeply from the bottle, screw etiquette. The relief was a god send but my face and eyes were still in agony. I decided my immediate need was greater that tea and coffee and poured the last pint of silver top over my face to the my relief this subsided the pain sufficiently only for me to hear snigger coming from behind me. I turned round with a big satisfied grin on my swollen face to be greeted by my wife and children laughing. The moral of the story is whenever you do something utterly stupid make sure you close the door and do it in private!!!!!
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 09:20:29 +0000
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