A DOGS NEW YEAR RESOLUTION! Resolution #1: I will eat less and exercise more. Too many nights on the couch, too many dog biscuits, and too little time running around the local dog park has made me a little, well, fluffier. I dont think the old Im-just-big-boned excuse will work anymore. I resolve to bug my owner to take me out to the doggy park several times a week. Resolution #2: I will beg less Ive got begging down to a fine art – hes putty in my paws – but it sure is demeaning. I promise to reserve the begging for worthwhile things, like going out to the park and T-bone steak. Resolution #3: I will recognize the difference between furniture and fire hydrants. I promise not to treat the furniture and walls the way I do fire hydrants. It drives my owners batty and has no lasting benefit for me (they clear away the scent almost as fast as I can deposit it.) Resolution #4: Ill stay out of the cats litter box. I vow to resist the urge to snoop around the cats private lavatory – even though its a lot of fun and really makes her go nuts. Resolution #5: I wont bite the vet anymore. Ill remember that the vets and their staff are just trying to help in their own, inscrutable way, although they really know how to push my buttons with those needles! Resolution #6: I wont steal food as much. I wont go out of my way to steal food; although all bets are off if they make it really easy for me. Resolution #7: Ill introduce myself in more appropriate ways. In other words, Ill focus above the waist when introducing myself to humans. Somehow, I get the feeling my normal greeting methods invade their private space. Resolution #8: Ill do better holding it until morning. When nature calls, Ill steel my resolve to wait for my normal morning walk, unless special considerations apply. Ill decide what those special considerations are. Resolution #9: Ill bark at the mailman less. Even though it works to put him in his place, Ill try not to exercise my authority over him and other delivery people, although my self-esteem does get a boost when they retreat. Resolution #10: Ill tolerate those homemade bandannas more. My owner has gone to a lot of trouble to make these things, so Ill just put up with the way they feel and the taunts of the other dogs.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:32:48 +0000
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