A PHYLODENDRUM ID LIKE TO BE by Porfle Popnecker A phylodendrum Id like to be Swaying in the misty breeze Shining bright, my lovely face Amidst the jolly buzzing bees. My leafy arms outstretched and gay My petals hued as rainbows arc So fine and sturdy springs my stalk With roots lodged in the earthy dark. A phylodendrum, that is me Within my dreams of flowry joy Id eat a hot dog every day And soundly beat the grocery boy. Id conquer and destroy the weak And rape and pillage at my whim And execute my enemies In panoramas bleak and grim. Id laugh and dance while cities burn And loot cheap beer from discount marts Cavorting naked, I would girn And brazen, flaunt my leafy parts. With supermodels I would bask And guzzle ale till sloppy drunk Then off their buns Id snort cocaine Whilst wearing pelts of ape and skunk. A phylodendrum, in my mind Id leave this human life behind And run for president of France And stuff chihuahuas down my pants. No longer would I be content With swaying in the misty breeze Unless my idle hours were spent Consuming vast amounts of cheese. Oh yes, if I could only be A phylodendrum--then youd see! Id sell, within my garden green The harvested organs of Martin Sheen.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 17:49:45 +0000
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