A Soft Pain I have failed to denounce the ground. Despite all - TopicsExpress

A Soft Pain I have failed to denounce the ground. Despite all attempts, I remain tethered, coveting clouds, immense in their beauty and unholdable, all unruly and moleculey up close in their perfection. They wont strike me down, theres no need. theyll simply allow me passage right through them. dusty and damp, Ill wonder if it counts as an embrace. I beg the earth, give me a granite love so i can swan dive off the highest point I can find and into it, let me disintegrate into its eternity. but let my eyes roll and settle on the pavement, facing groundward, so I never catch sight of a storm forming again. If I do, Ill only wish for a personal bolt of lightning. Earth, let me fall in love with a pit of punji spikes, let my feet and thighs and hips and shoulders and neck and forehead and wrists and biceps and chin and tongue be penetrated with fatal points, angled and jagged, skewering my entire being, never letting go. but let my eyes be pierced as well, lest they rest skyward, reminding me of of rainfall. I would just hold my dried lips upward forever, waiting on a drop of chance. earth, let me stand, enamored, beneath a falling redwood, reclaim me upright and breathing let it swallow me with gravity and antiquity. let me stay below it for as long or longer than it lived. let me lie flat in the shadow of something that also reached skyward and never arrived. Let it block my view of all tornadoes or I will plead to be carried off and upward until I fall back to where I belong. Earth, let my wistful body become entwined with barbed wire, let it weave through my heart and mind, coil around my throat and chest, constricting all of the want out of me. Let each rusty hole in my flesh stay a bloody void, Let infection settle in and drive me blind so I never expect snow or hail to brush my skin. What I dont want, though, earth Is for the skies to ever be clear. Let her float there.