A little less than a month ago impulsively I tried to commit suicide following a breakup. I ingested 60 over the-counter sleeping pills after drinking ten beers within one hour on an empty stomach. I hastily scribbled out a poem before taking the pills. After taking them I got into bed and waited to die. I thought it would be a sure thing. After approximately 10 minutes I started to feel my entire body buzz. It actually felt very pleasant. I remember looking up at my ceiling… thin lines of sunlight stretching out across it from my bedroom window... and saying, “Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.” What I did not know is that it is very difficult to kill yourself. I woke up eight hours later and suddenly found myself in the middle of some horrible nightmare. I was suffering from intense hallucinations. I had no idea that I had tried to kill myself. I spent the next ten hours running around my apartment complex trying to get away from people that wanted to torture and kill me. I hid in the garage, the park infront, covered myself in dirt and wet leaves, scaled fences, etc. I did everything I could to get away. My equilibrium was so trashed from the pills that I could only run a few feet before falling to the ground. When the police found me I was covered in wounds and scrapes. I was also so dehydrated that could barely understand me when I spoke because my tongue was so swollen. I spent over one week in the hospital recovering from the hell I had put my kidneys through. I suppose you could say I was ‘lucky’ to come out the other end unharmed. Well, I have been out of the hospital and emotionally, I am much, much worse off than I was before. All I want is PEACE... #This_Time _Im_Not_Gonna_Name_Myself....
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 16:59:27 +0000
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